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Fickled Fags
Brian is sitting at the counter, poking at a very hard muffin. He’s in a funk.
Debbie: You look like you gave an orgy and nobody came.
Brian: I love how you can take a stale cliché and make it fresh. Could you do the same for this muffin?
Deb: What the fuck’s with you?
Brian: Guess how many homos showed up last night for the reopening of Babylon?
Deb: This one of those light bulb jokes?
Brian: Twelve, count ‘em… twelve. Eight fucking grand down the crapper. If I don't do something quick it's going to be another eight fucking grand tonight. And tomorrow night. And the next night.
Deb: Sounds like one hell of an expensive blowjob.
Ah! I love Brian and Debbie scenes. They are always great. And I love how Deb knows Brian all too well. She knows darn well why Brian bought Babylon. She’s calling out the truth… this was a means for Brian to get his dick sucked any time he wanted to. The whole purchase in and of itself was nothing more than an extended line of blowjob credit. And Brian practically even admits as much… no price is too high for the enjoyment of dancing and fucking.
Brian: I wouldn't have minded even that, but not one of them was even remotely fuckable.
Of course that gets me thinking… eight grand for a blowjob??? From just anyone that’s “remotely fuckable”? Gee, I wonder how much Justin’s would be worth to him? We all know and have seen exactly what Brian thinks and feels about Justin’s blowjobs! I’d say quite a damn lot, hell, they may even be priceless! ;-) No price too high for that enjoyment either.
Deb: Well I don't get it. Where'd they all go?
Patron #1: The music was fucking awesome.
Patron #2: And only a buck a shooter.
Deb: Where have you boy's been all night?
Patron #1: Popperz.
Deb: Popperz? That dump’s older then I am.
Patron #2: It’s the only thing that is...
Does anyone else find it odd that Debbie and her patrons don’t seem to be getting along in 501 and 502? I mean, I kind of always thought of Debbie as everyone’s Mom. Not just our little gang, but the whole community. Yes, she’s always been snarky and somewhat rude to her customers, but she seems overly uncaring to the customers now and I don’t remember ever seeing them dish it back to her and showing such disrespect before. I thought Brian was the only one that did that. All the diner stuff just feels weird all of a sudden. Anyway…
Brian: And there you have it.
Deb: You of all people should know... there’s no one more fickle then a fag.
Yes, that’s right. Brian of all people should know that. Everyone around him keeps changing. LOL But not him… nope, he’s comfortable in the same ole, same ole. And hell, look at Michael… the most fickle of them all. Changing his mind from one minute to the next. But this does leave us with a sense that there’s nothing Brian can do. It’s the way things are… when something’s over… it’s over. Hmmm. Guess Brian didn’t blow hard enough. Didn’t give it an eight thousand dollar blowjob. Maybe when Brian put his mouth on Babylon and blew, he should have used JT’s ‘thawing out Rage’ blowing technique. I bet that would’ve worked. Oh, where is Justin when Brian needs him?
Track Training
At Lindsay’s apartment, Brian is playing trains with Gus while Lindsay is ranting over the custody situation. I’ve always loved how Brian talks about one thing and means another. Very creative. Of course, I’m sure the only thing Gus understood was the explosion noise. How cute was that?? LOL
Lindsay: Just because I didn't carry her doesn't mean I'm not her mother too.
Brian: See the choo-choo go round the track, Sonny Boy? See it? Sure is fun. But after a while it gets monotonous, predictable and that's when we throw off the shackles of convention and relinquish control and cause senseless tragic disaster… oh my god... Did you see that?
So life is a big circle, around and around. Remember “Parenthood” with Steve Martin? I mentioned it last season and is seems to apply again. The grandmother said the same thing about merry-go-rounds that Brian just said about the train track. It just goes round and round. It gets monotonous, or boring as Brian would suggest, and suddenly there’s this urge to throw a wrench in things. To shake things up. The grandmother in Parenthood likened the ups and downs of life to a roller coaster and how much more exciting the roller coaster was then the merry-go-round. Brian feels the same way, but the difference he’s making here is about control. On his preferred roller coaster of life, he still maintains control of the switch. Give up the control and your desires will only cause disaster… a crash of wildness vs. conventionality. Of course, this is completely how he views relationships in general and succumbing to the predictable life of married clones. I think in his twisted way he is telling Lindsay that she brought this on herself… she let her feelings of lust for Sam cloud her judgment. He doesn’t blame her for her weakness but is implying it’s her own fault, thus the disaster she’s caused is senseless. It didn’t have to happen. She had made a commitment to Melanie and she broke it, now she has to suffer the consequences. Another reason Brian sees commitment as trouble. Broken promises. Brian would never make a promise he couldn’t keep and if Lindsay was going to marry/commit to Melanie than she should have kept to the promise. I think that’s why he stays away from making that kind of commitment… it’s about promises and ‘a deal’s a deal’… he’s scared that monogamy would lead to monotony which would cause him to desire and lust elsewhere to shake things up which would then result in a broken promise and someone getting hurt. **whew**
Lindsay: Brian, what are you doing?
Brian: I'm just teaching my son how to have fun.
Lindsay: Well I wish you'd listen to what I'm saying.
Brian: Just because I didn't carry her doesn't mean I'm not her mother too.
See? Brian listens but no one ever thinks he is. That’s probably why he’s always asking everyone else if they’re listening to him when he’s talking… LOL
Lindsay: I was there every step of the way… impregnating her, coaching her, taking care of her. I even helped with the delivery.
Brian: So who says you’re not?
Lindsay: Michael. He's petitioning for joint custody and 50% physical custody.
Brian: Who the hell does he think he is? The father?
Again, Brian’s talking about doing what’s expected. Even HE thinks the only reason Michael is doing this is because of some “duty” as a father he thinks he’s supposed to. Like Michael isn’t doing it to BE a father… he’s doing it to ACT like a father… to be a “father” clone by traditional standards. And not be a father in his own way like Brian is by not following conventional rules of fatherhood but just doing what feels right between him and Gus. He’s thinking outside the box. He’s making his own definition of what being a father to Gus means.
Lindsay: The agreement was that he would always be a part of the baby's life but Mel and I would raise her.
Brian: Together.
Lindsay: Doesn't make any difference. We’re still the same people. We’re still Jenny Rebecca's parents.
Brian: He seems to feel differently.
Brian being a stickler for “deals”. The “together” part is what gives Michael some excuse for his behavior in Brian’s eyes. A deal was broken.
Lindsay: If only Melanie had been reasonable.
Brian: Ha Melanie... our little Melanie? Reasonable?
Lindsay: Instead of trying to force him out. Now if he goes through with this I'll be the one who’s forced out. The court will say I'm the one with no legal rights.
Brian: Tsk... It looks like your mommy is in quite a predicament.
Lindsay: Goddamed right she is.
Oh Lindsay! Right in front of Gus? Tsk, is right.
Lindsay: I can't believe what a mess my life's become.
Brian: You need money?
Lindsay: What I need is for you to talk to him. You’re his best friend.
Now Brian sees the situation differently. Lindsay may only have herself to blame but this shouldn’t be her consequence and money can’t fix it. He knows he’s going to have get in the middle even though he didn’t want to. He told Michael to not make it about them but he’s never been one to not try to help when a friend needed him and well, Michael’s got Ben, Lindsay has no one.
Brian: Hey Gus. It's okay, Sonny Boy, we will get it back on track. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, flip the switch.
I just love that last line. It embodies so much of Brian’s character. “We will get it back on track.” We, meaning himself. Fixing other people’s lives or at least trying to is what he does. It’s who he is.
Too bad it’s the last season, I could stand to watch a bunch more Brian and Gus scenes like this one. Please, please, please, let there be some more…
Treacherous Travesties
At the Babylon-cloned club, Popperz… Emmett is busy with a trick when lo and behold Brian pops up out of nowhere.
Emmett: Come on, Honey, there ain’t no backroom here so I guess we’re going to my place.
Brian: Last time I looked there was a backroom at Babylon.
Emmett: Oh, Brian. Hey! Yeah, we were planning to stop by later.
Brian: Why not now? Avoid the crowds.
Emmett: Look, it’s not my fault the herd’s moved on. All the hot guys come here now. Well, except that one. Look at him… tired old queen desperately trying to hold on to…
The crowd parts and suddenly Emmett realizes that it's Ted! With bleached blond hair gelled up into a spike similar to the stupid one Emmett was sporting at Alien and Predator’s wedding. Oh no! Teddy, what have you done? Emmett says, “tired old queen”… like a “tired old room”? The hair, the clothes… are these the “few simple touches” that are gonna turn Ted into something “fresh and exciting”?? Oh, Ted… you poor misguided soul. Emmett gasps…
Emmett: Teddy?
That gets Brian’s attention and an evil, devilish grin appears. Emmett can’t look, he covers his eyes and leaves. But not Brian. Of course not. He sees another opportunity to belittle poor Ted. He’s almost thrilled. Ted makes this too easy for Brian. Way too easy! AND he’s in Popperz as well! Traitor! Brian has a lot to deal with right now… not only is he shocked at Ted’s new look but he’s also ‘surprised and dismayed at the treachery of a supposed friend’… a virtual stabbing. Choices, choices. What shall we address first?? LOL
Brian: Et tu, Theodore?
Ahhh, the treachery first.
Ted: Brian! What are you doing here?
Brian: Checking out the competition.
Ted: Me too.
Brian: Is that why you’re in disguise?
Ted: It’s my new look. I was tryin’ for something newer… hipper.
Brian: I’m tryin’ to bring them back to Babylon, not scare them away.
Then the new look. LOL
At that moment, a hot attractive (and short!) guy walks up to Brian and without saying a word, starts undoing his belt. Brian looks at him a little surprised but gives in easily and holds his arms out. hehe
Ted: Well you better do it fast or you’re gonna lose your pants.
Ted is watching Brian… but the camera is on Ted. You hear Brian gasp and you know the guy has successfully gotten past the belt and moved on… in… whatever. Strangely hot. I’ve always liked Brian’s gasps. ;-)
Brian: Might as well start now.
Yeah, might as well. If you can’t beat ‘em… join ‘em. Brian takes his trick and leaves.
The thing that just kills me about this scene is that Ted goes to all this trouble to become something “fresh and exciting” in order to be able to pick up some hot young thing, and all Brian has to do is walk in. Within seconds there’s a hot young thing sticking his hand down his pants to check out the merchandise. Something else that’s just wayyyyy to easy for Brian. The man doesn’t even have to try! And right in front of poor Teddy. Can you imagine? He is sooooo the ANTI-Brian.
But what’s up with those clothes anyway? Is this to make a mockery of Eminem? Is Ted the new Slim Shady? I mean, I swear I saw Eminem wearing the exact same outfit in one of his videos. Or was that the Backstreet Boys? I get them mixed up. (just kidding!) But isn’t Eminem supposed to be a homophobe? So in a way couldn’t this be seen a double act of treason to Brian? Teddy, his business manager, being among the masses helping to assassinate Babylon’s ruler, AND doing it while disguised as a queer-hater. Oh Teddy, how could you?
Reassuring Reactions
Through horizontal blinds you see the loft door open and Justin walk in. He dumps his bag on the floor. He’s home! Yippee! Homecoming sex!
But alas… it’s not meant to be. There are sounds of sex coming from the bedroom and I’m sure almost every person watching this had an immediate flash back to Vermont. Panic arises. Oh no! Not this again. He slowly makes his way to the bedroom… we are still watching him through those blinds. (Hmmm, just like when Brian envisioned Justin with Conner.) Then the camera pans to Brian. He has his trick on all fours, grunting and groaning as he slams into him. We see this through the blinds. A sense of dread in the pit of my stomach and I think I’m actually holding my breath here. What is Justin’s reaction going to be?? Then we see it. Between two of the blind slats and smile. A Sunshine smile. Whew! Relief. He’s okay with this.
And that's when I let out my breath and realize it’s getting rather hot in here.
Justin rounds the final corner and enters the bedroom still smiling. Brian looks up and sees him. He smiles back right away. He makes no attempt to hide how happy he is to see him. Justin approaches the bed and stands there watching, smiling. Brian keeps looking at him but keeps on going… he smacks the trick on the ass and smiles bigger. (Ooooh, can we see Brian smack Justin on the ass like that? Just once. Please!) Brian throws his head and climaxes. Justin watches, still smiling but as Brian gets off, he quirks an eyebrow in this really cute way - like an approving, “oooh, that was a good one” kind of way. It’s hard to describe but I think that little quirk was my favorite part of the scene.
I’m sure this is just me and my B/J love talking but I want to say that it was Justin coming home and Justin smiling and Justin watching that sent Brian into that immediate and outstanding release. He’s tired and exhausted and winded, but he’s still smiling at Justin and manages to get out one question, “How was your flight?”
Very appropriate two-fold question (I love Brian dialog this season!) ‘cause we all know how good Brian’s flight just was. ;-) To which Justin responds with a slight shake of head and an even bigger smile. His way of asking Brian the exact same question and admitting his wasn’t nearly as good as that… LOL
Oh, I’m so happy to have Justin home! Almost as happy as Brian is. Heee! AND… Brian did redecorate… there’s a new light fixture above the bed. Woo Hoo!
Hollywood Hogwash
We cut to the diner where Justin is there, sans Brian, telling the gang about his time in Hollywood.
Justin: I hated it out there. The weather never changes. All anybody talks about is the business. If you don’t have a “Go” project, you’re invisible.
Emmett: Yeah, yeah, as I said, let’s cut to the chase… the guys are hot.
Umm, can someone get Emmett a boyfriend already… he’s got dick on the brain BIG TIME in this episode. LOL
Justin: Except after awhile they all start to look the same. Perfect hair. Perfect teeth. Perfect body.
Ben: Sounds perfectly awful.
Justin: And you can not trust anyone or believe anything that anybody ever says. Everybody’s just looking out for themselves and their careers.
Oh Justin… he seems so jaded now. But I am kind of wondering if Ben knew that Justin was protesting just a little too much. When your ego is crushed and your heart is broken all you can do to save face is act as if you didn’t want it or like it anyway. He learned that from the master. Never let ‘em see you sweat. Never let ‘em see you hurt. Build a wall to show the world. Remember Brian every time Justin has been gone - his outward façade has always been that he just didn’t care, that he didn’t want the relationship anyway. It always twinges a little bit when Justin parrots Brian. Some of Brian’s lessons I wish Justin hadn’t learned so well.
Ted: Sounds exactly like what you always hear about LA. A lot of shallow superficial assholes desperately trying to be what they’re not.
Yeah, as Ted sits there in his new blond hair and youthful clothing. Pot meet kettle. And now he’s eating pie? Looks like some of the diets that I’ve been on. ;-)
Debbie: You’re lucky you got out of there in one piece, baby.
Michael: So much for Rage, The Movie.
Ted: So much for Rage, the money.
Ben: It’s okay. We’ll be fine.
Justin: You know it’s just as well they didn’t make it. Ben, you were right. By the time they finished it; Rage would’ve wound up straight.
Michael: At least we still have the comic. Our comic.
Debbie: And most important, you’re back here with us where you belong.
Emmett: Yeah, what’re you gonna do now, baby.
Justin: I haven’t had much chance to think about it.
Debbie: Don’t you worry, baby. Your old job is still waiting for you. You can start bussing tables any time you want.
Ted: So would you like to slit your throat now or after we have coffee?
Baby, baby, baby… Why is everyone calling Justin, baby? I mean, I know that it’s endearing and all but geesh! You think they are trying to remind us that Justin still has his whole life ahead of him? That he’s not in the same place, not at the same turning point as the rest of the gang?
The thing I like most about this scene is how it embodies all their personalities to a tee… Ted, always thinking in terms of money and being the resident smartass when Brian’s not around. Emmett wondering about the hotness then showing concern for Justin’s future. Debbie always trying to see the bright side - that he’s home, even though it may not be where he belongs - and that he can always have his old job back, even though he would probably want to slit his throat first. Michael thinking of his loss first then adding “our” at the last minute. And Ben being reassuring… “we’ll be fine”… blah blah blah.
But I do think Justin is over exaggerating a bit. I don’t recall seeing anything in the couple of Hollywood clips we saw that would indicate that Rage might turned out straight. It seemed like they were able to make him the way he was intended to be until the plug was pulled. There wasn’t any indication that there was pressure before that. We can’t forget that Conner and Justin both were surprised when it got ditched. Doesn’t sound like there were ongoing problems to me. So once again, this is simply Justin coloring the truth to make it not hurt so bad. He’s trying to convince himself that it was “just as well”.
The look on his face is odd though. When Deb says ‘back where he belongs’, he only half-heartedly agrees. And when she mentions returning to bussing tables, he looks positively sickened. Thank goodness for Ted’s quip - it at least made him laugh.
Challenging Changes
Brian is in the empty Babylon when Michael comes in.
Michael: Without the lights, the music and the hot guys it’s just a room, isn’t it?
Brian: It’s all an illusion. Nothing but cheap theatrics.
Okay, we’ve been told a hundred times now. Anyone that doesn’t get that message by now is clearly not watching the show with both eyes.
Brian: Sorry about your baby.
Michael: Jenny?
Brian: Rage.
Michael: Oh that. Right now I’ve got more important things to think about.
Geesh! They are so far about that they don’t even know what the other is talking about anymore. That never used to happen. But… what is it with Michael? He seemed to be thinking about losing Rage, The Movie while at the diner but now he has more important things to think about? Well, clearly the whole Rage thing is a big blow to Justin which it seems Brian is very well aware of or he wouldn’t be saying he was sorry to Michael. If Justin is saddened, he would assume that Michael was too. Last season it was a very big deal to him!
Michael: So why the urgent message on my cell?
Brian: I want you to leave Melanie and Lindsay alone. They have enough shit to work out right now without you siccing your bulldog - or should I say bulldyke - lawyer on them.
Michael: Well, what the fuck business is it of yours if I want to hire a lawyer? Who the fuck are you to -
Brian: (laughs) I’m Gus’s father, that’s who the fuck I am.
Michael: You had to lose a ball before you even knew he was alive.
See? This is why Michael pisses me off sometimes. He doesn’t think before he opens his mouth. And wasn’t Michael expecting Brian to be on his side in 501? And now he states that it’s none of his business. So as long as Brian is with him then it is his business… he even said, “my daughter and your son”. That clearly said to me that he expected it to be Brian’s business. But now it’s not?? Make up your mind.
And the ball comment??? Ack! Don’t get me started. Uncalled-for remark? You bet your ass it was. If Brian didn’t have any class he would’ve decked him for that like he did in 301 the last time Michael’s mouth ran wild. But as usual, he refrains from sticking up for himself. He just takes it. He’s had years of practice, I’m sure. I’m glad Michael apologized, but still, some things you just can’t take back once they’re out there.
Michael: I’m sorry. That was an uncalled-for remark. It’s just that because they’re your son’s parents too, I thought you’d understand.
Understand that a two-parent home is best for the child? Why in the world would Brian, of all people, understand that? Understand that a child shouldn’t be raised by a single mother? Again, why would Brian understand that? What Brian does understand besides what he states, is that the kid needs to be in a loving home, that is why he gave up Gus, so I will give Michael that much.
Brian: What I understand is that if you go through with this, Lindsay’s gonna be the one who gets left out. She’s the one who’s gonna get fucked over.
Michael: Well, she should’ve thought of that before she cheated on Mel and then lied to me!
Oh I see now… she cheated on Mel so that means she should be punished by losing her daughter? And what about Maryanne? And why is that any of Michael’s business anyway? Oh, and we can’t forget this part… it’s not that she lied, it’s that she lied to Michael.
Brian: Christ. Would you give it a rest already? We all know the story.
Michael: Why don’t you stop defending her for a change and try defending me… your best friend?
Because, it’s not about you, Michael!!! It’s not even about Lindsay. It’s about the children. And Brian knows it.
Michael: Right now the best thing for Jenny Rebecca is to be with Ben and me in a stable home, not being passed back and forth between two battling lesbians!
I do get the ‘stable home’ issue but as Brian pointed out in the beginning, Lindsay and Melanie have enough to deal with. Who said this arrangement was permanent? He just needs to back off so they can try to work things out. Michael turns to leave but Brian stops him cold in his tracks...
Brian: When did you change?
Michael: What?
Brian: When did you become this pious, sanctimonious, judgmental twit?
Michael: The point is not when did I change.
Yes, that is the point!
Michael: The point is, why haven’t you? When are you gonna stop being some over-the-hill club boy and grow up?
Brian: Oh, so now I’m the object of your disapproval, too.
Exactly! Michael gets pissed off at Brian for not supporting him and suddenly Brian’s the one with problems.
Brian: You and the Nutty Professor get married - in fucking Canada! You move to Stepford Avenue with all the other ersatz heterosexuals and suddenly that gives you the right to make pronouncements on everybody else’s life?
Oh how much do I love that line? I love it, love it, love it. Don’t you just hate people that move on to something else and when you don’t, suddenly you’re the loser?? They are strongly making the argument that growing up doesn’t have anything to do with where you live or what life you choose to “act out”. True growth is in your heart. Michael is not any more mature than Brian at this point - being married and living in a house doesn’t make it true. Those are just a ring on a finger and a new address. Same ole Michael… on the inside… but trying to be something else on the outside.
Brian: Well, welcome to the other side of your perfect marriage, Mikey! It’s called gay divorce. Fags and dykes can fuck up their lives just like the rest of the world.
Right. Doesn’t mean they should have to be punished the way Lindsay will be punished because of the laws.
Michael: I’m just trying to do what’s best for my daughter and protect my rights. I’m sorry you can’t see that.
You know, if that were true, I would be in 100% support of Michael. I would. He has sound arguments. But I just don’t buy it. And neither does Brian. He’s caught up in the illusion. And Brian knows it. That’s why he doesn’t see it Michael’s way.
I’ve already stated that I believe Melanie, Lindsay and Michael are all only thinking of themselves while proclaiming to be thinking about their daughter. But thinking about what is best for the child is something that Brian is very familiar with. Gus’ needs were exactly what he was thinking of when he signed over the papers. He didn’t want to give up his rights. He did it for Gus. So, you know, poo-poo on everyone else and their desire to make Brian out to be a bad father.
It’s one more thing that shows the opposite ends that Brian and Michael are on. Brian thought he would be a bad father so he gave up Gus. Michael thinks he would be a better father than Mel is a mother so he wants to take JR.
Admitting Actualities
Ahhhhh, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Brian and Justin’s hot reunion sex at the loft. I did wonder why they waited a whole day to get to it. I mean, I get that the trick was there when Justin first arrived but what about the next morning? Oh well, who cares? It’s here. Let’s enjoy… ‘cause obviously they are!
This is one of those all over the bed sex scenes. It’s apparent they had to do all kinds of ways. They had a lot of making up to do. LOL Starts out being shot through the blinds… Justin’s riding Brian. Lots of kisses. Justin giving Brian one of those priceless blowjobs that he loves so much. Brian kissing down Justin’s body and then surprise, surprise, Brian’s diving in to reciprocate. Don’t see that too often. LOL Then from behind lying on their sides. If their faces and the words to the song that’s playing are any hints whatsoever then we have multiple orgasms, folks! But I did have to rewind and play it again just to be sure. And yeah, that’s what it was. It’s an all-out fuckfest, six months in the making.
The scene cuts quickly to the after moment and Brian is lying on his back in the foreground, Justin on his stomach behind him. You can see his ass sticking up over Brian’s leg. Hehehe.
Brian: So, was it all you remembered?
Brian’s just a tad winded…LOL… but how sweet is that that he was trying to make it a good one for Justin? Remind him of what Brian gives him. But I won’t ruin the moment with the psychology of what Brian thinks about the only thing he has to offer.
Justin: Mmm, even more... what about you?
Brian: Yeah, it was okay.
Brian shrugs his shoulders and tries to sound aloof. Liar! And Justin knows it. He laughs and moves on top of Brian and starts holding him down and tickling him. Yes! Tickling him!
Justin: Just okay? It was great. Say it was great.
Brian laughs and tries to fight off the tickling. Yes! He laughs. I’m giggling like a fool. Finally he gives in and yells…
Brian: IT WAS GREAT! IT WAS GREAT! IT WAS GREAT!
Justin stops his torture and rolls off him. They are looking at each other and smiling. Brian says, “it was great” one more time but this time he whispers it. He’s serious and wants Justin to know he’s sincere. And who out there doesn’t believe him? My heart flips over.
Justin does know. He gets it. His smile fades to a serious look and Brian’s follows. Time for more admissions of actualities.
Brian: I thought you were never coming back.
Justin: I figured.
Brian: Why would you?
Justin: Can't imagine...
Justin knows Brian so well. Of course he knew what Brian was thinking. He’s also fully aware that in Brian’s mind, you take care of yourself first. Coming home to someone you love wouldn’t register with Brian at this point. He’s the one that said, “I won’t think of you.” But Michael was right. Justin is not Brian, no matter how hard Brian tries to make him so. Justin will always hang on to that one thing that makes him different… the ability to accept what his heart feels and share it.
Brian studies his face, he knows what Justin means. I’m not quite sure if he’s relieved, which is the way I’m leaning, or if he’s realizing that he hasn’t succeeded in turning Justin into him. Justin gets up and heads to the bathroom leaving Brian to continue to ponder that thought. He reaches over to grab a cigarette and as he does he eyes the one drawing that Justin brought with him from LA. He picks it up and stares at it as Justin returns.
Brian: What's this?
Justin takes it from him. It’s the storyboard of JT and Rage. He sighs, the disappointment of everything falling apart clearly evident on his face.
Justin: It's one of my storyboards for the movie.
Brian: It's good.
Justin: Thanks.
Justin folds it up and puts it back on the floor. He looks over at Brian seemingly to say something but decides against it and looks away. I think he’s afraid to admit the truth to Brian because he doesn’t want him to think the wrong thing. But Brian knows, he’s staring at Justin from behind him.
Brian: What?
Justin: Nothing.
Brian continues to stare at him but doesn’t say anything. He knows Justin wants to talk and he’s letting him do it in his own time. It amazes me because Brian has never invited serious talks like this before. But here he is… just willingly waiting. Justin finally can’t hold it in anymore.
Justin: I told everyone how shitty it was out there. How everyone was stupid. The truth is… I loved it.
The camera shifts to Brian. He half-grunts an understanding, “ahhh, the truth”. He knew all along because he knew he’d love it too. He’s always wanted to leave Pittsburgh for bigger, better, more exciting places. But I think their reasons are very different so I don’t think Brian fully gets it… not just yet.
Justin: It was hot. It was fun. It was exciting. We were going to change the world. The first gay superhero. Now it's all over.
Brian continues to stare at him. NOW, he’s starting to understand. It’s so much more than the hot and fun. It wasn’t about the guys, the new tricks to work your way through. It was the vision, the dream, that really had him excited. And that kind of loss is so much more harder to swallow. He realizes the seriousness of Justin’s disappointment and that it doesn’t have anything to do with him. This is a lot like 205 when Justin realized his drawing ability was permanently damaged and Brian tried to fix it instead of really listening to Justin’s fears and sadness. Justin yelled at him, “well you can’t fix this”. Brian obviously learned from that ordeal and this time he doesn’t try to fix it. He knows he can’t. All he can do is be there for him and listen. So that’s exactly what he does. That’s such a big change for Brian.
He sits up so that he’s right there beside Justin, figuratively as well as literally. Brian picks the storyboard back up.
Brian: And now you're back. It must be quite a let down after all that.
Justin: There is one thing Pittsburgh has that Hollywood doesn't.
Awww, don’t you just want to melt? Justin’s looking at Brian when he says it and lifts his eyebrows slightly so that Brian knows what that something is then leans over and gives him a very cute, very soft kiss on the lips. He’s telling him, similarly to 314, that he’s fully aware that he hasn’t lost everything.
Justin: That is... if the offer still stands.
Oh, thank heaven for continuity! They continue to look at each other. Justin’s waiting for an answer and so am I. Brian looks away, reaches out to the nightstand dresser then turns back, smiling, to watch Justin’s face as he opens the drawer. It is empty!
I swear, I gasped and then clapped my hands. LOL
The camera zooms in on the empty drawer and the episode ends. Oh, how I wish I could have seen Justin’s reaction. But oh well. It’s not that important. The gesture says it all and it had so much more impact that way. The significance of that gesture is huge. He was waiting. Literally waiting for Justin to return even though he didn’t think he would. It shows that he had hope… and that he wanted him to.
You know, Brian may be known as a non-romantic but dang, things like that are off the scale on the romantic meter. Again… ACTIONS being “a hundred, no, a thousand times” better than words.
But I have to tell you, this conversation says a lot about where they are. Brian is the only one that Justin is being honest with. Both of them are admitting to each other their disappointment, their fears, their TRUTHS. And gosh, I don’t think we’ve ever seen that before. Season after season we gripe about what little detailed dialog we get from Brian and Justin. Well here it is! And it was soooo worth the wait. And they still were able to hold true to Brian’s character about actions vs. words. They let him talk, share his feelings, and STILL trumped it with a Brian Kinney action. Wow! There is something different happening in the way the stories are being told… can’t you feel it?
