Episode 413:
Prodding Partners, Fostering Friendships and Rationalizing Rage
Anyone that has read my comments in the past knows that I have a tendency to flashback to previous episodes, but that’s not all that usually happens to me when I watch this show. I also have flashes of real life events from my own life, quotes, books and scenes from movies that in some way touched me and oddly enough, the movie that seemed to pop up a couple of times during 413 was Ron Howard’s “Parenthood.” Hey, I told you it was odd. The first thing that came to mind was when little Gus ran into Brian’s arms right after he offered himself as exhibit A… as a child who grew up in a home without love. Keanu Reeves’ character had said, “…you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.” Such a profound statement and one that has always made me think, “no shit” and as Brian spoke and picked up his child… I winced for him again. The story of his background has always been one that touched my heart.
The other “Parenthood” flashback I had was while I was contemplating Brian’s words to Michael at Moosie’s and trying to zero in on the common thread for the episode in order to write what I saw as the theme for 413. Steve Martin’s grandma said, “You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.” Steve Martin’s character was a bit of a control freak, much like Brian, and he wanted things to go a certain way. He stressed when things went wrong and as his daughter’s school play became a nightmare and chaos ensued, the roller coaster that was his life started inching up the hill. Now, that blip in the movie was about enjoying the highs as well as the lows of life and how things that are achieved after some kind of challenge are normally more meaningful. But after Brian told Michael, “Rewrite the story,” it struck me in a different way and I knew that I had found the theme for the episode.
It’s about rewriting your story. Changing your future. It’s about the outside forces that are constantly making you change your mind, change your wants, change your views and to adapt to what’s going on around you. Just when you think you know what your future holds, your present changes, which changes your future. So no matter what you think, your future isn’t written yet. Things change. Times change. That can be good and it can be bad. Sometimes you don’t want the story to change. Sometimes is comes as a surprise and you welcome the new chapter. And sometimes it simply means you can survive anything if you just rewrite the story, rewrite the ending or add another chapter. It’s really just a never-ending saga.
I realize this was a long introduction just to get to the theme of the show so I’m going to quickly get through the other characters and their rewrites and then get to Brian and Justin, because believe it or not, they had big stories in 413… together and apart. Just the way I like it. Individual stories that they mutually discuss, assist each other with and support each other with… which in turn, moves their relationship forward.
Lindsay and Melanie
I’ll talk about them in a little more detail during Lindsay’s scene with Brian but for them… After nine years together, a wedding to pronounce their love and commitment to each other and two kids, they both thought their story was to end with them together. They never saw any other way but because of Lindsay’s betrayal, they are faced with rewrites. Brian’s advice to Michael means the same to Lindsay… it doesn’t matter what you thought your life would be like, you’re constantly rewriting the next chapter as things around you change. Melanie has been hurt. Hurt so deeply that she wants to cause Lindsay as much pain as she’s caused her. They both still want the original ending to their story but they can’t seem to find a way to let go of their self-indulgence in favor of self-control.
Ted and Emmett
Ted chooses to not go on the Liberty Ride because of the drugs... he doesn't want to take the chance that he’ll end up revisiting that bad chapter of his life. Through his stint in rehab and the support he gets from the program and meetings, Ted is still writing this part of his story. He doesn’t want to go back and who could blame him? Emmett had chosen not to go because riding a bike, camping out in the woods and being attacked by giant bears is not his idea of a great book, but he set his fears aside in order to be Ted’s support so that Ted can finish writing the chapter on his recovery. Emmett never saw his future with Ted once again being his best friend, but because Ted paid back the money, which was his acknowledgment that he’d cause Emmett pain, he was able to do a quick rewrite and put Ted back in the story where he belongs… as his best friend. But don’t you love that Emmett packed tangerine for crossing the finish line? Back in 101, he said, “Not everyone can wear that color.” I guess he thinks he is such a person and that he’s not just anyone. Heee! And I think it’s super sweet that Ted got a kitten. That’s supposed to be a smart thing to do for those in recovery. Pets need you to take care of them and when you feel needed, it raises your self-esteem and can give you a purpose. Not to mention it keeps you from feeling so lonely as you separate yourself from your old haunts and habits.
Deb and Carl
Carl wanted a romantic proposal for Deb but things kept going awry. Typical situation comedy? Sure, but it still fits with the theme so I’m using it. Because Deb won’t sit still for more than two seconds, he had to rewrite the story over and over as he kept attempting new times and places to make his proposal. He finally gave up on the storybook, down on one knee, popping of the question in favor of simply blurting it out through the closed door of the bus so he could slip that ring on her finger and turn the page of their lives. Deb never thought she'd get married and had probably resigned herself to the fact that her story was to be the matriarch of Liberty Avenue and nothing more. Her future was to include her with her boys not her and her man. Carl's sudden proposal allowed her to see that there was a different future in store for her… she quickly ponders a rewrite for the ending of her story and answers his plea with a firm YES!
Brian and Justin
More detail to follow, obviously, but basically this is the deal for them. Brian has joined the ride to write a different ending to his story than what the doctor, Justin and all the nay-sayers were writing for him last week. Justin sees Brian’s determination and jumps on the handlebars to help him with the rewrites. It’s this commitment that causes Justin to not want to go to Hollywood. His current story is to be there with Brian so he refuses to make changes. Brian forces the rewrite by telling a different story to Justin, thus supporting Justin in the Hollywood “stah” chapter of his life. Justin does go with Brian’s blessing and starts that new chapter of his life. Brian, still having Justin’s initial support and encouragement that he can do it, “rejoins” the ride to put an end to that chapter in his life that threatened to make him that diseased old queen of his Vic nightmares.
They may be apart from each other for these next stories of their lives, but they have embarked on them with all the love and support of their partner and that is what counts…that is what means something. This is evidence of loyalty and self-control. Two things that Lindsay still believes in but was unable to live up to. Two things that made Brian cringe when she said them. Hmm. More proof of how far they’ve come together and that when it comes to Justin, Brian can’t seem to help acting out the complete opposite of what he speaks with his mouth. His beliefs and mantras are just crumbling all around him… his story is constantly being rewritten.
Ben/Michael/Hunter
We’ll talk about them during their Brian scenes because really it’s Michael’s scene with Brian that tells the real story of this episode’s theme. But I love Hunter’s new bike. This kid is costing them some bucks. But he said, “Dad” again so it’s cool.
Brian’s Loft / Spin Class
Episode starts with a crane shot peering in to the bedroom from above. Moonlight shines in through the loft windows causing the blinds to cast blue-ish, vertical shadows across the bedroom. The light box above the bed is not lit but the glowing light from underneath the platform is illuminated, framing it and drawing even more attention to the bed. Brian and Justin are asleep on their backs on opposite sides of the bed. It’s a peaceful image of Rage and JT as they rest inside Rage’s lair, high atop the city. Soft jazzy music plays that reminds me of “The Big Easy” with Dennis Quaid… and some other movie that I can’t quite seem to place and it’s been driving me nuts ever since.
Brian leans up and looks over at Justin then lays his head back on the pillow. He waits a few seconds, looks again then, comfortable that Justin is still asleep, throws back the covers and gently gets out of bed. As he gets up you can see he’s nekkid but he’s hunched over slightly and his back is to the stream of moonlight, so you know… it’s really dark on his front side. No sneaky-peeks for the slo-mo-ers. Sorry. He grabs his clothes that were perched on the side on the platform and heads to the bathroom on his tip-toes, obviously trying to not make a sound. He’s sneaking. And I know this sounds twisted, but when you’re sneaking around, it shows you care about what the other person would say about what you’re doing. Like it or not, that’s giving a crap and it’s an indication the other person holds a certain power over you. I actually find this very funny.
As Brian exits the frame, we cut from crane view to close-up. Remember the “eye” shot from 306? Well this is the same but for some reason it actually makes sense this time. Maybe it’s the music, but this close-up isn’t annoying like the other one was. The eye flutters open, it’s blue and has blond lashes… it’s Justin. The eye shifts to the left then straight ahead then closes. Did I mention that those blond lashes were really long?
Cut to Brian pulling his jeans over his bare ass. Ahem. Always a good shot. Gratuitous? Nah. They wanted to show us how well Brian is healing from his surgery. He’s tossed aside those gray shorts that Justin didn’t like too much in favor of going commando once again. I’m pleased with this bit of news. He’s healing. Yeah! And it’s the first hint that this episode marks another time jump. He pulls his shirt over his head and tip-toes across the bedroom, grabbing his shoes as he pulls the shirt down in place. He walks out of frame, again.
The eye, again, flutters open. Brian’s busted. Then it cuts to Brian walking down a dark, fog-filled alley… unaware... that Justin is walking down the same dark, fog-filled alley right behind him… following him. It appears that Justin took a page from that Kinney snooping handbook that he used in 405, and has returned to his season one stalker persona. When your lover is sneaking around, what else are you supposed to do?
The mysterious jazzy music is still playing and the camera is tilted diagonally. It’s all so familiar. Remember that old TV series, “The Nightstalker”? One of my favorite old shows during the days of the original Dark Shadows. Week after week, I watched wise-guy reporter Kolchak walk down similar deserted alleyways with the same looming fog and the same disturbingly suspenseful camera angles in the middle of the night as he stalked his blood-thirsty vampires. Luckily for Brian, Justin has no intention of driving a stake through his heart if he finally catches up to him and luckily for Justin, Brian won’t try to suck his blood when he does. Something else maybe, but not his blood.
I bet everyone is now curious as to why Brian is sneaking around and why Justin is following him. Well, it’s evil really, pure evil and he must be stopped at once! He’s spinning! **GASP!!** In the spin gym, all alone. Justin, the night stalker, sneaks in and catches him.
Justin: Nice night for a ride.
Brian: What the fuck are you doing here?
J: Following you. To see where you've been going for the last three weeks.
B: Now you know. Now you can go back home and go to bed.
Ah ha! So the time jump is three weeks. Good to know for whatever reason. It’s not like they stick to any kind of time scheduling anyway. And did you hear that? “Go back home.” Brian considers his loft to be Justin’s home even though he’s still not living there. That’s so sweet. I’m all teary.
Justin starts circling around Brian as he interrogates him with question after question. Gee, just like Kolchak the reporter. He drags his fingers over Brian’s arms and shoulders… who said Justin wasn’t the touchey-feeley type?
J: Do you know what time it is?
B: Little hand's on the two, the big hand's on the three… quarter after two?
J: Why the hell are you doing this?
B: Gotta get in shape.
J: For what?
B: The Liberty Ride.
J: You're not still thinking of going ...
B: Just because you and the rest of them disqualified me, doesn't mean that I did.
J: We're just concerned.
B: There's so many poor starving children that go to bed hungry every night. Be concerned about them.
J: So why the secrecy?
B: Cause I don't want people like you saying, "You can't. You musn't." I don't want every cunty faggot who goes to the gym saying, "Poor Kinney. Told you so!"
Brian’s falsetto leaves a lot to be desired but it makes me laugh and Justin smile. I’m just so happy that once again, Brian is actually telling Justin what’s on his mind and answering his questions… something he was doing ever since he was sent to bed with the chicken soup but then obviously stopped over the last three weeks. No doubt because of what Brian saw as Justin’s “disqualification” last week.
J: I have to hand it to you… your perseverance is surpassed only by your narcissism.
B: There you have it. The secret to my success. Unless I'm proven wrong by the nay-sayers and I fail dismally.
Oh no. Brian with doubt of his abilities. I hate that. Even though he told Stockwell back in 309 that he does indeed “sometimes” have them, I don’t think we’ve ever heard him verbally acknowledge them before. Okay, so he has doubts, that shouldn’t be a big deal really because he also told Stockwell that he also believes he can always pull it off in the end but just the same… there’s something about him saying it out loud to Justin that makes me sigh. This doubt is really big and I think for once, Brian may really be thinking that he’s not so sure that he can pull it off this time. This cancer has been kicking his butt the whole way… the nay-sayers, the doctor, etc. may be right. And I think Justin sees this and instantly changes from concerned boyfriend to encouraging partner and coach... using words of positivity and sexual fantasies while gently dabbing Brian with a towel to wipe away the sweat. Just so sweet.
J: You're not going to fail, dismally or otherwise. You're going to be a big, fat, fucking success as always. We're going to go on the Ride together, and at night we'll pitch a tent and we'll have hot, passionate sex under the stars.
I knew that if Brian bore his soul to Justin about how important it was for him to do this that Justin would be supportive. His “disqualification” of Brian last week really was just concern and a parroting of what the doctor told Brian. But now… he has a handle on Brian’s perseverance as well as his never-ending narcissism so the best thing he can do is go with him, keep an eye on him, and help to inspire him to achieve his goal.
Take note here, Brian… Justin has the right to be concerned about you. He has the right to inform you of reality if it’s in your best interest. He has the right to know how you feel and then he has the right to decide if he can support your feelings or step aside. Just like you did with the Pink Posse. You couldn’t support Justin’s feelings so you stepped aside to let Justin fail or succeed on his own. That’s a partnership, honey. You wasted three weeks sneaking around and all you had to do was trust Justin’s love. He’s not one of your nay-sayers even when he was hitting you with the medical reality, just like you hit him with the reality of gun danger. When are you going to learn to trust him and his feelings for you?
Justin, of course, chooses to support and it’s evident that Brian is very happy about that. He likes Justin’s words of encouragement; he’s smiling as Justin talks and never takes his eyes off him, he just grins and chomps his gum. (This oral fixation of Brian’s just kills me.) Justin tosses the towel aside and unzips his shirt. The camera follows the unzipping from his neck down to his… holy smokes, Batman! Very nice camera shot, I must say. Ahem. Um, Justin? Is that a wooden stake in your pocket or… well, you know the rest. I’m very impressed. Dang. Where’d he put that towel?
B: What the fuck are you doing?
J: I've heard that when achieving your goal it’s best to visualize it.
And feel it! Very nice camera-zoom on Justin cupping himself. I’m loving this director! They kiss. Brian hrmphs. Justin jumps up on the handlebars. They rub noses. They smile. I smile. Brian never stops pedaling. Another zoom, this time on Justin’s unzipped jeans and black undies. Were those BA’s, like Drews? Oh, who cares? They kiss again. I hrmpf. I likey their kiss-ys. Um, maybe I was right about the sucking. It does look promising… for Justin at least. Not so much for us. The scene ends on the kiss, leaving us with thoughts of a handlebar make-out session and Justin’s sexual fantasies of hot, passionate B/J sex under the stars. Gap-fillers, please! Do you think Justin’s technique is what Kristin did to encourage Lance to get back on the bike after his bout with cancer?
Comic Book Store
Michael and Justin are in the Comic Book store talking to Brett Keller on speaker phone. It looks like the Rage movie is moving onward. I don’t quite trust Keller completely yet but they haven’t given me any reason to feel uneasy about him. I guess I’m just prone, like Brian and Ben, to be a little skeptical of the Hollywood big-wigs. But I have to say, I like that he found this project and is handling it himself. It’s not unheard of for the famous and successful in one genre to find something that speaks to them personally and they end up taking on roles of other professions to make it happen like producer or director or writer and even sometimes acting the leads. Just look at Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of Christ”, Steven Spielberg’s “Schindler’s List” and even Tom Cruise’s “Far and Away”. All took those projects because of family lineage or current associations and took on roles out of their norm to ensure those personal projects got made and because it was a personal project, they showed more passion for them than any other project they’d been involved with before. So if that is what is happening here then maybe I should trust him. Since we see Keller dealing so closely with the original creators of Rage, Justin and Michael, he’s obviously very passionate about this project and if you think back to the things he said at the luncheon, well, it seems to make sense that this is his personal baby and he will continue to take a hands-on approach to it.
Keller: Well before they give us the green light they want to see what they're buying, and how much it's going to cost them. Which will be plenty by the time I'm through. So I'd like one of you to be here to help me convince them of why we have to be true to the original vision.
That’s that personal passion I was talking about. I just hope this isn’t a giant anvil for Season Five. Given Hollywood’s reputation for keeping to creator’s original vision, Keller may have his hands full. Not to mention how homophobic Hollywood still is.
Michael: Sure Brett. Which one of us do you want?
K: Probably Justin. Uhh, no offense Mike. The studio exec's understand pictures more than words.
M: Whatever's good for the project.
K: Justin?
Justin: When would it happen?
K: This Thursday.
J: What about the Liberty Ride?
K: Can't hear you, your breaking up.
M: Nothing Brett. He'll be there.
K: Great, I'll have my assistant send you an E-ticket. You can stay in my guesthouse. That’s my other line, gotta go.
M: Can you believe it? You’re going to LA.
J: But I made a commitment. I have sponsors. I raised money.
M: If the movie gets made you can give them a million bucks.
Ahhh, well, bless his little committed heart. This is one of those things that just makes me proud of idealistic Justin and scowl at selfish Mikey. Don’t freak… I do understand both sides but my first reaction was, “Damn it Michael, could you be more of a shit?” The Liberty Ride is for the hospice which is for AIDS patients. That charity should be close to his heart but this comment makes me wonder if this ride isn’t just a “road trip!” for little Mikey. Not to mention that it’s also about the commitment. We know from 409 that Justin takes those very seriously. And what of the money that he’s already raised?
But okay, I have to put my emotions in check and think about this logically. Should he give up this opportunity for the charity? Should he be so quick to blow off accompanying Brian on what will obviously be a very trying thing for him to accomplish? What a moral dilemma and it’s really something that someone would have to search their heart for the right answers. Maybe he could find a rider to take his place. Maybe Keller could reschedule the meeting in the name of charitable goodwill. There’s a lot of possibilities so I think the correct answer is that neither one of them should have been so quick to answer one way or another.
I especially don’t like that Michael committed Justin against his wishes. They are in this together and while “whatever is good for the project” is a good policy, it still was out of line. But I can’t help but notice the difference in their fundamental character traits based on what each one of them had as an immediate-without-thinking response. Michael… screw everything, my needs come first. Justin… honor previous commitment, my needs get set aside. There’s a fine line between selfishness and logical self-preservation. It’s a tough call.
Kiddie Gym
Cut to Brian and Lindsay at Kiddie Gym. I’m assuming that they are there with Gus, but we don’t see him right away because he’s off playing somewhere like all toddlers do from time to time.
Lindsay: I'm like her emotional punching bag. She pounds away at me all day and I just stand there and take it.
Brian: Doesn't sound like old Killer Muldoon to me.
Brian playfully jabs Lindsay on the nose like she did to him on the chin in the hospital room in 101. Back then, he called De La Hoya, De La Rente. This time he’s a little closer to being accurate in his sports trivia. Killer Muldoon is actually William Muldoon but was more well known as a wrestler than a boxer. He was the first “pro-wrestler” back in the early parts of the century then turned his attention to training championship boxers. He was the first person ever inducted into the Hall of Fame for both wrestling and boxing. It’s said that he never backed away from a fight and had that “killer instinct” that made him dangerous but fair in the ring. He was relentless yet followed all the rules. As a trainer it was said that he had some very bizarre techniques, like threatening his boxers with baseball bats. Ugh. I hate that reference, thank you very much, Cow/Lip. But in all the articles about him, there is no mention of a wife or kids. Do you think that could mean…? Hmmm.
L: I've no choice the doctor says she has to stay in bed. No stress.
B: Um, so now you have to serve in silence like that muncher in the military, Greta Cammabear.
L: Margarethe Cammermeyer.
Well, isn’t that interesting? Just yesterday on MPLEX they showed “Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story”. She went by the nickname Greta so Brian wasn’t too far off with the name. Who knew that he would be so up on his lesbian history? But oddly enough Margarethe had something in common with Brian. Her deep-seeded need to achieve success was because she was simply striving to have her father tell her, just once, that he loved her and that he was proud of her. She was the only girl and had three brothers. In her father’s genealogy book, he wrote that he only had three children, not four. He did not ever acknowledge her as his child in a way that mattered to her and that was even before she told him that she was a lesbian. So in a weird strange way, Brian can connect with her over-achiever attitude and her negative self-image. I’ve often said that Brian’s arguments with his parents were all about them not loving him for no other reason than he was their son. Their lack of love or acknowledgement toward him was without any knowledge of him being homosexual so that is something that he and Greta have in common and I wonder if that’s why they used her for this analogy instead of someone else.
Another thing about Cammermeyer in the movie that kind of ties into Lindsay’s statement that it wasn’t about dick is that when she was asked if she participated in immoral conduct, she answered no but then told them that she was a lesbian. She tried to explain to the officer that being a lesbian was in her being, it was who she was, that the sex act implied with that was irrelevant because it wasn’t about the act of sex. Another interesting parallel to a character here that is talking about her. Lindsay, too, says that her affair with Sam was not about the act of sex and that she is indeed still a lesbian. A lot of people disagree… but if it’s really not about the act of sex then how can people discount her as a lesbian just because she slept with a man? And if that’s the criteria then why are some saying that Drew just wants dick on the side and that doesn’t mean he’s gay? That he must be straight because he loves Sierra, wants to marry her and have kids. That all seems like a double standard to me. If Drew is not defined by his moments of self-indulgence on the side but by how he lives everyday, then why wouldn’t Lindsay be defined by how she lives her life everyday instead of by what she did in a moment of self-indulgence?
Anyway, I just found it interesting that Greta was mentioned during a conversation between Brian and Lindsay when things that she said in her life are mirrored by these two characters. I often say that every line has meaning…
L: And I don't know how much longer I can put up with it.
B: Well, then don't
L: But it's my fault. I'm the one to blame.
B: So therefore you’re beating yourself up… or rather letting Melanie do it for you.
L: Old fashioned as it may seem, I still believe in loyalty not betrayal, self-control not self-indulgence. Even if I fail to live up to my own expectation.
B: Tell her that.
L: She refuses to listen. And she thinks because I fucked Sam that I'm no longer a lesbian.
B: Well you know what a stickler for detail she is.
L: Brian, please.
B: What do you want me to say? If it's over get the hell out.
L: It's not that simple. What about Gus? And the one on the way?
B: Staying together for the sake of the children is a fucking poor excuse. I proudly offer myself as exhibit A. Hey, Sonny Boy, come here.
And that has to be the saddest part of what is going on with Lindsay and Melanie. Gus and the baby. But no matter how sad it is, I completely agree with Brian’s advice. I don’t agree that she should give up just yet, three weeks doesn’t seem long enough to decide to end a nine year relationship but Brian’s advice, yes. Using the kids to stay together only causes the kids to become a target for resentment, not to mention the fact that they would grow up not believing in love and relationships as exhibit A has clearly shown us for the last four seasons. Who would wish that on Gus? And I think it clearly shows us that Brian does possess the basic need of any parent… to want better for you child than you had yourself. Isn’t that why he gave up his rights to Gus in the first place? Because he didn’t want him growing up in a home where his parents didn’t love each other? (Meaning Lindsay and Guillame.) And that’s another sad reality about this situation… this desire for his son is shot to hell. He wouldn’t want Gus to live with Melanie and Lindsay if they aren’t still in love so his advice is very characteristic of Brian. Lindsay still wants the fairytale ending for the fairytale family but like Brian says, the fairytale is not what kids need, they need real love... not a fake family... so “get the hell out” if that’s what it’s come down to.
And we can’t forget Michael’s anvil that he dropped, “lucky kid” coming into such a “warm and loving” home. More like cold and hateful and that’s exactly Brian’s point.
And it’s because of this philosophy that I love that they ended this scene with Brian calling out to and picking up Gus. Despite himself, Brian’s fatherly instinct shines through. More of that innate goodness that’s within his heart that his parents were unable to destroy. It may be buried in there pretty deep, but it’s there and as he gets older and wiser, it gets closer and closer to the surface.
Brian’s Loft
Back to the loft where we see Brian walking in and finding Justin amidst a barrage of camping gear including a pitched tent on top of the bed. Justin has notebook and pen in hand, checking things off his list. Such a well-prepared boy scout, huh?
Brian: What the fuck's all this?
Justin: Just making sure we have everything we need for the ride. Tent, sleeping bags, first aid kit, tool kit, rain gear, two sets of warm clothes, one dildo...
B: You certainly thought of everything…
Why, yes, he has. Two very cute things to make note of here. While Justin is talking, he’s scratching behind his ear. That’s Randy’s little Justin is thinking thing. He does it quite often and I find it endearingly sweet. Also while Justin is running down the much needed supplies, Brian picks up a light and starts flickering it on and off like a kid investigating a new toy. So very cute.
B: …but why do you need the tent when you're going to be staying in a mansion?
J: Huh?
B: Michael told me you're winging to the coast tomorrow to huddle with studio heads.
J: I never said I was going.
B: He seems to think that you are.
J: Well, I'm not. We're going on the ride together as planned.
B: Unfortunately there's been a slight change of plans. I'm not going.
Damn you, Michael! You foiled our opportunity to see B/J sex under the stars. Drat! But seriously, I would’ve loved to have seen this Brian and Michael conversation. Did Michael tell Brian because he knew that Brian would make Justin go, in a sense being a busy-body like his mother or was this just innocent conversation to his best friend about his excitement of the opportunity? Hmm. I guess we’ll never know the real motive but I tend to lean on the side of big brother ratting out little brother.
J: Why the fuck not?
B: Because you're right. I'm not in good enough shape.
J: I saw you cycling.
B: Yeah, and after 30 miles I was winded. On the ride, I'll have to do 80 to 100 miles a day, maybe more. There's no way I can make it.
J: That's bullshit. You're just saying that to get me to go to Hollywood.
B: You can go on the ride without me… and sacrifice your future. Now that's what I call charity.
Ahh, the love in this scene is astounding. Justin sacrificing his future because of his commitment to the charity and to Brian. Brian sacrificing his self-discovery to get Justin to go. It’s quite obvious how well they know each other. Brian knows why Justin didn’t agree to go to Hollywood. He knows Justin would never be selfish and put his needs above his others. He did the only thing he could do… remove himself from the equation and throw Justin a line eerily reminiscent of his “make your own way” speech from 118 during the Forever Young song. He has to keep reminding Justin that while guilt and charity are noble, “there’s nothing noble about being poor”. If you take care of yourself then you are better equipped to help others. Kind of like what Michael said, “If the movie gets made you can give them a million bucks.” Interesting that Brian and Michael have the same philosophy here.
And what about Justin? Why did he give in when he knew Brian was bullshitting? Because it was a losing battle. He knew Brian really would have sacrificed himself for Justin’s future and he couldn’t be responsible for that. When you run up against a brick wall you have to change direction if you want to get anywhere. So in a sense, if Justin would’ve refused, then it wouldn’t have only been his future sacrificed, but Brian’s and Michael’s as well. They both did the right thing and for the right reasons… for the benefit of the other.
Yep, lots of love in this scene… of course, had they wanted to throw in a gratuitous shower sex scene, I wouldn’t have objected. I mean, Brian was getting in anyway and it’s been a really long time since 301, and hell, that wasn’t even a new one. We’re due, don’t you think?
Liberty Avenue
There’s not a whole lot to discuss in this scene but I wanted to make mention of a couple of Brian things. But first, I just wanted to say that it was a good thing that Ben reminded Michael and Hunter during the Spin Class that this isn’t a race because there seems to be some audience members that needed to be reminded of that as well. Some were questioning how they could train for a race in just a few weeks and how could Emmett go if he hadn’t train at all. This is just a casual ride for charity and community togetherness, it’s not the Tour de France regardless of all the Lance Armstrong parallels to Brian’s condition. The riders are about to be off and you see the Pride Flags all around, Tannis and her crony (who totally cracks me up) are giving their send off speech and Deb is passing out her boxed lunches. It’s gives us this overall feel of community and I just like the feeling. That happy, charitable feeling rubbing off on me, I guess. I know, roll your eyes at me, it’s okay. The Novotny/Bruckner family are loading up when Brian waltzes in to give his send off. (He’s not going remember… “There’s no way I can make it.”)
Brian: Well if it isn't Mama Bear, Papa bear and Baby Bear.
Michael: Brian.
B: Just thought I'd stop by to remind you to wear your helmets, stay to the right, and remember to use your hand gestures.
M: Thanks for all the motherly advice but my mother’s going with me. I’m sorry you’re not.
Just a small note here. The screeners I had were formatted and not in wide-screen so the things happening on the edges aren’t seen. Last week when Brian tied off the condom, I couldn’t see that on the screener I had… I didn’t see that gesture until I watched the show air on Sunday night. In this scene, after Brian says “hand gestures”, there a slight pause, then he laughs, then he makes his jerking off gesture. I just knew that Hunter was doing something during Brian’s pause but he wasn’t on camera yet so I didn’t know what. I had a good guess, but you know… couldn’t be positive. When the show aired in wide-screen, you can see Hunter and sure enough, he’s the one that makes the hand gesture first, not Brian. And well, the way that Brian’s laugh was kind of spontaneous, I kind of wonder if this was planned or not. I don’t know, but I thought it was incredibly funny. Brian likes messing around with the little tyke and I think it’s cute. Anyway…
Melanie shows up. Ugh. I was starting to feel for her but she pissed me off here… because of Brian, of course.
Mel: Hey, have a great trip you guys.
B: Mel, what a surprise. Thought you’ve been spending most of your time in bed.
Mel: Living the life of Brian?
See what I mean? Bitch. That’s right, totally define Brian by his dick, discount everything else. What Lindsay did was not Brian’s fault! He can’t help it if he happens to have the same sex organ as the person that Lindsay cheated with. When it comes to Brian… I just hate Mel. I’m still miffed at the whole, “He won’t be the father of MY child” thing. Especially since it was him giving up his rights that made Gus her child even though she doesn’t want to claim him as “MY child”. Grrr. And what about Justin? I shouldn’t even get started or I won’t shut up for a long time…
And Michael’s right. She shouldn’t be there. If the doctor says you stay in bed, you stay in bed. I don’t care how stir crazy you are by boredom or the sight of your cheating partner… you stay in bed, damn it! The baby comes first at all costs. Period. Ooooh, she makes me so mad.
M: What are you doing? You know you're not supposed to… Are you out of your…
Mel: No, I'm not out of my… I just came to see you off, that's all. So stop worrying. I’m fine.
M: Just don’t let my mom see you. You know how hysterical she gets.
Mel: Your mom… right.
Okay, enough of Mel. They pile on the bus. Emmett waits for Ted. Carl proposes to Deb. She accepts. (I did like that part quite a bit actually.) Ted makes his nerdy, pathetic, Ted’s a loser entrance. (Can they not give this guy a break?) Ben proposes. Michael is speechless and doesn’t know what to say. Ben thinks “yes” would be a good answer. Michael looks perplexed.
And they’re off! Toronto or BUST!!
Brett Keller’s Mansion
Camera pans to a big house set in a hillside… must be Hollywood. Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what Justin sees. Talk about black and white Dorothy landing in the colorful Land of Oz! A small group is gathered around a large table where the words “Happy Birthday” are scripted out in white. Is it whipped cream? Is it icing? NO!! It’s cocaine! My eyes bug out. That’s some hefty cash poured out on that table and the birthday boy is snorting it with a rolled up hundred dollar bill. Geesh! Justin walks in as the crowd cheers the birthday boy’s big toot... his eyes wide, eyebrows high. He looks all around and up... way up. It’s like the room is just huge and consumes him. Welcome to LaLa Land! Keller spots him and heads over for the PC kiss and hug.
Keller: Hey, Justin. I could give you a line the party's to welcome you to LA but it's a birthday bash for my friend Malcolm. He just won an Oscar for scoring his first film.
Justin: Your house is amazing.
Okay, call me crazy, but was that Justin? ‘Cause I think it was Randy slipping in there. Every now and then his voice comes out really deep sounding and I think back to an interview that Randy did not too long ago. He told the reporter that we’ve never heard his real voice because he doesn’t use it for Justin. When I read that I was thinking, “huh?” But ever since then, I’ve paid attention to how he talks and the pitch of his voice. Every so often, there is a difference and it’s actually becoming more prevalent as the season progresses. This last line was one of those times and is a perfect example of what I mean. I’m serious. Go play it again and you’ll see what I mean.
Oh, and I liked that Brett didn’t feel the need to bullshit with Justin. Not that Justin would’ve bought some lame ass story about the party being for him when the cocaine message was so obviously clear that it wasn’t… but I just liked that he acknowledged that he could’ve done the Hollywood thing to ego stroke Justin, but didn’t. And I think it’s cute that there’s no mistaking how much bigger Brett is to Justin. He looks up at him when he talks. I’m not trying to be critical of Randy’s height here, I’m just saying that it makes us even more aware at how “bigger than life” Brett, his house, this whole scene is to Justin. He’s like a little fish in a great big pond. A little kid in a grown up world. He’s just overwhelmed with it all. Hell, can you blame him? Randy played this wonderment perfectly.
K: Yeah, I call it the house that V-Men built. Soon you'll have the house that Rage built.
Justin’s eyebrows wiggle. He likes that idea. This whole scene is really cute. Brett calls over his butler… watch Justin hand him his bag. Cracks me up every time. I think I’m having way too much fun with this scene.
K: Joseph, Mr. Taylor will be staying with us for a few days. Would you take his bag to the guesthouse? I have a butler… just like Bruce Wayne. Let’s get you a drink.
Justin giggles. I think my smile is permanently plastered on my face by now. He checks out the guys as they walk across the room. Some are checking him out too. Fresh meat, I’m sure. Kid in the candy store. So many flavors to choose from.
K: Meeting’s all set for Thursday at the studio. We’ll go by my office tomorrow. I'll show you some of the storyboards we've come up with.
Justin listens to the business talk with great interest, surprisingly enough. That is why he’s there after all. They pick up a couple of Martinis and clink their glasses. Someone hollers from atop the balcony… Oh Lordie… they’re doing the “skie” thing and the abbreviation thing. How very Hollywood of them! :rolls eyes:
Conner: Bretskie!
K: Hey, Con. I thought you couldn't make it.
C: Just got back from location.
K: This is Justin Taylor. He created Rage.
C: Let me tell you, Brett's obsessed with your comic.
K: Justin, this is Conner James.
J: I know. I know.
K: He calls himself an actor.
C: A few others do too.
J: Including me. I think you’re great.
C: Thanks.
K: What would you think of Conner for Rage?
J: He, I mean, you would be wonderful.
C: Give me a script when you have it.
Okay. I love that Brett’s talked about Rage to more than just the studio execs. That means he really is passionate about this project. At least that’s not a lie. I love that Conner flirts with Justin right away… the boy is like a magnet. But remember when I mentioned the Hollywood “ego stroke”? Keller is good at it… he opts up Conner as a possibility to play Rage. Very smooth. I don’t know that this Conner James is supposed to be in the same league as Colin and Tobey, but I just can’t see this. I’m thinking gratuitous ego stroke here and not a real thought. Justin’s tongue-tied just a tad, and he plays right into Brett’s ploy and off Conner goes to re-freshen his drink. He gives Justin the major cruise as he walks away and Justin gives it right back with all the confidence in the world. I love flirty Justin. But as soon as Conner is out of sight, Justin drops his jaw, turns to Brett with a big grin on his face, in shock that a big star is cruising him… he brings his hand up to his face in that cute little shy way that he does. Definitely wows-ville! Time of your life, huh kid?
J: Is he…?
K: Of course not. Conner's as straight as they come. He's out banging bitches every night.
As Justin and Brett look over the balcony, Conner’s sucking face with a guy. That don’t look so straight to me and that guy don’t look like no bitch neither… (That’s my Okie talk.) So, Justin looks on, first he’s surprised then his face contorts just a smidgen and his shoulders rise up… he’s uncomfortable with what he’s seeing. Just like everything else he’s seen that night, this is too much reality. The mirages, the phoniness… it’s overwhelming. Some overwhelmingly good… some, not so much. Justin once had a boyfriend, remember, that was required to lead a straight life in the public eye. A fact that hurt Justin. He called it living a lie and he didn’t want to participate in it on principle alone. That’s what he’s seeing when he looks down at Conner now. That doesn’t take away from the fact that the guy’s eyeballs were all over Justin’s body and that Justin probably felt a little tightening in the groin area from it or that this Conner James could be worth a good roll in the hay (after all, if Justin can’t have sex under the stars, might as well have sex with a star)… but this is not someone that Justin would seriously befriend or respect. So I can’t help but think that just for that tiny second where he scrunches, he’s having an Ethan flashback. Maybe he’s actually realizing just how prevalent it is… a cold hard reality of the big bad world outside of Liberty Avenue. This isn’t Kansas anymore, Sunshine.
Moosies
Cut to the buses heading towards downtown Toronto and then the gang, sans Justin, walking down Church Street. For real this time. Hee!
Ted: …Church Street. According to the DanRon guide, it's the center of Toronto gay life. From it's colorful neighborhood bar, Moosie’s, to its thumpa thump dance club, Gomorrah.
All these shout-outs to the show are cracking me up. The DanRon guide is a take off on the Damron’s ultimate guide book to gay bars all over the world. Dan and Ron… well duh, you know who they are. Moosie’s is Woody’s. Not sure why Moosie’s. I mean, I get the moose connection (Bullwinkle and Dudley Do-Right… bwahahaha… just kidding) but Woody’s has that sexual hard-on tone to it so I think the Toronto version of Woody’s should have been more like Stiffie’s or something. And wicked Gomorrah is the corrupt Babylon. Very funny.
They come upon Moosie’s and Deb runs in to get out of the cold. They all follow her inside.
Deb: I don't know about you, but I'm having a gay-ja-vu.
T: You too?
Ben: Make that three.
Michael: It really reminds me of...
All: Woody's.
M: The strangest thing of all is I keep expecting Brian to walk in.
Brian: Ah, Molsen’s.
D: Uh, Brian!
B: Calm down. Keep your pants on. Or not.
Brian quickly adds as he so skillfully cruises the guy walking by. You have to admit Toronto’s just as much a candy store to Brian as Hollywood is to Justin. Fresh meat for both of them. Hey, you know… if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with… blah blah blah. I guess unconventionality does have its pleasures and privileges.
M: How did you get here?
B: Mikey, did no one ever tell you? In 1903, at Kitty Hawk in North Carolina, the Wright Brothers invented this thing called...
T: Flight!
B: Right!
Yep, Ted knows how to play Brian’s fill in the blank rhyming games. Remember cup and up? Hee! And my evil side always gets a kick out of Brian belittling Mikey and his smarts or lack thereof. Even Hunter cracked up. Sometimes I think Hunter is probably a lot like Brian was as a teenager. You know, precocious little smart-ass.
D: What are you doing here?
B: The Liberty Ride begins here, am I correct?
Ben: So you came to cheer us on?
B: Exactly Professor, I cashed in 25,000 travel miles so I could come here and be YOUR cheerleader. I'm going on the ride. I’ll be busting it out for charity, same as you.
Woo Hoo! I hated that Ben was able to spew his venom last week and Brian just stood there and took it. But you can tell by this little exchange and the look on his face that Brian is not the least bit impressed with the great professor. This was the old sarcastic Brian that we know and love, sticking it to Ben for his “even Brian” comment and in a sense screaming it from the mountaintops, “same as you”, ‘I’m just as good as you, I care just as much as you, you are no better than me, you holier than thou asshole’. Whoops, okay so maybe my thoughts are being interjected there as Brian’s thoughts but it sure looked like that’s what he was thinking to me. **sticking my tongue out at Ben and saying “neener-neener”** I can’t help but love that he’s starting to get disgusted at those that think ill of him. Namely Ben and Melanie. It’s a small sign that he’s starting to believe in his own innate goodness, that maybe he isn’t such a son of a bitch and that maybe he is worthy of being loved. I don’t really hate Ben, I like Ben, but you have to admit that he’s very condescending when it comes to Brian and he’s always so quick to think the worst in him. He’s supportive of his friendship with Michael but he still looks down on Brian and I just don’t like it. Ben is not the epitome of the perfect person.
Emmett joins the table with his man for the night, Jean-Claude. As he introduces him, watch Brian… he practically breaks his neck leaning back to check out the guy’s ass. Do you think he just wanted to make sure that Emmett picked a good one? You know, he’s such a loyal friend and all, wouldn’t want him to be disappointed in the Canadian offerings. Or was he just comparing this Frenchman to Guillame? Oh well, Emmett dismisses the hunk of man-flesh when he sees Ted all alone. As he goes around the table, he gives Brian a great big ole bear hug. Ahhh, how sweet. Brian and Emmett hugging! This just keeps getting better. Remember when Emmett used to tell Brian, “Don’t touch me”? As the crowd croons over an older couple celebrating 32 years together and deciding to get married, Ben looks teary at the couple, Michael looks sick… he walks off. Brian, of course, follows.
Now I know that this conversation has been the topic of much elation for some and much angst for others. I personally don’t get either. There is nothing here. It’s a conversation about marriage. Something that Brian detests. That’s all it is. And I actually thought it was one of the more inspirational talks they’ve had in a long time. For once, Brian didn’t have all the answers. And for once, Michael didn’t want to listen to Brian, he wanted to go his own way with something that was right for him whether it was right for Brian or not.
M: I'm glad you decided to come, but I don't know how the hell you're going to make it.
B: Ohhh, I might just surprise you.
Ah, so Michael was a nay-sayer too? Well, well, well.
M: Thanks, but I've had enough surprises. Ben proposed.
B: Proposed what?
M: Marriage. It's legal for us to get married here in Toronto.
B: I believe I read that somewhere. Well, I hope while he was down on his knees he did something useful.
Typical Brian, right? “He shrugs off everything, it’s who he is.” Of course this is really grating his nerves. He already thinks the good professor is a pathetic wimp and this just tops the cake. Now he thinks he’s one of those dickless fags that want to be like straight people. His eye-roll is very noticeable. Okay, the next set of lines seem to be the bone of contention so we’re gonna take them one at a time...
M: It was beautiful and heartfelt.
B: I'm sure.
Michael is the romantic soul. Likes terms of endearment and flowers and such. Brian, uh, no. He’s not so impressed with the pathetic professor’s beautiful and heartfelt proposal. Hell, he’s not crazy about any proposal at all. But there’s a reason that Michael said it… it goes with all the other things that are going to turn Brian on his ear and make him wonder… and question… Mikey’s gay yet likes these things? Maybe it’s not just a straight thing.
B: But you declined of course, because deep down you still love me best.
Brian is no fool. He knows how Mikey feels about him. In 408, Michael was sharing his dreams with Brian of the two of them being immortalized in cement at Mann’s Chinese Theatre. And in 409, he was showing up ready to go grocery shopping, fix some chicken soup and take care of him. He knows about Michael’s vision of their future. Two old queens living out their days in Palm Springs, too old and too ugly to trick anymore. But Brian sent the message loud and clear to Michael in 409, “Go home, to your wife and your kid.” Foreshadowing perhaps? Maybe. But there’s no way that Brian would have ever thought Michael would want this. So Brian is teasing Michael here. That’s all it is.
M: Shut up.
A clear indication that he knows darn well that Brian is just giving him shit.
M: I didn't give him an answer yet.
B: Well what's stopping you?
Now that’s a good question and have no fear… he’ll tell in due time. It’s all about the ending of the story that you go through your life thinking you’ll have.
B: Besides the fact that it’s the most pathetic idea I've ever heard.
M: It just so happens that a lot of gay men want to get married.
B: Yeah well, have you seen them?
This has nothing to do with Michael. This is about marriage in general. It’s a pathetic idea. “The most pathetic idea I’ve ever heard.” And Michael for sticking up for himself. A lot of gay men do. But in typical Brian fashion, he predicts it’s only because they’re old and ugly (kind of like the couple of 32 years – sorry, but hey…), just like they would be in their old age living in Palm Springs. He doesn’t see any reason why anyone with youth and beauty would want to take themselves off the market. He’s still fighting this whole pathetic notion.
B: And since when do you have the least interest in getting married?
Another good question. This is obviously something they’ve never discussed. And why would they? As Michael says, it was something he didn’t think was possible for him because he’s gay.
M: I didn't! But not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't think I could. It wasn't a story I told myself like straight kids did. You know, that someday I'd meet that special person and we'd fall in love and we’d have a big wedding. It was never real for me. And all this stuff started happening in Massachusetts and California and here and…
B: ...suddenly a whole wide world of opportunities opened up. Piles of rice and registering at Pottery Barn, not to mention an acrimonious divorce, an ugly settlement and having your kid hate you.
Now we know where this whole mantra is coming from. Not only is marriage a thing for straight people which automatically puts it on the “I don’t need it” list for Brian, but it’s also about the marriage he did see. His parents. A very bad example, if you ask me. His dad was trapped because of religion and kids… he was suffocated and miserable and took it out on everyone around him. His mom was trapped because divorce was out of the question, it made her an unhappy and miserable person. So Brian’s problem with marriage isn’t just because they’re gay, it’s just because… period. For anyone. Just like when Lindsay mentioned those words of loyalty and self-control, he cringed. He just doesn’t believe in the whole nonsense. He just sees it as a lock, a trap, a suffocater. Why would anyone want that?
B: But, listen to me. Are you listening?
M: I’m listening.
Oh no… more Brian philosophies and mantras are about to be bestowed upon us. That also means that they will also crumble right before his eyes. Ready?
B: We're queer. We don't need marriage. We don't need a sanction of dickless politicians and pederast priests. We fuck who we want to, when we want to, that is our God-given right.
M: But it's also our God-given right to have everything that straight people have because we're every bit as much human as they are.
Is Brian stumped… speechless? Well, well, well. Interesting way for Michael to switch things around on Brian. No, they don’t need marriage. No one “needs” marriage. It’s not about wanting marriage because that’s what straights want, it’s about wanting it just because. It’s about having the right to have it if you want it. And that’s something that Brian can actually get behind. He thinks, he wonders… has he been wrong all this time? Has he fought so hard to not be like straights that he dismissed the idea of something just because it was something that straights did? I can see the cracks starting to form in the marriage wall. Now it’s been presented as something that someone wants but can’t have. And well, you tell Brian that he “can’t” do something because he’s not worthy just because he’s queer, and it only “incites me more”. So in that regard… hooray for Michael. Brian wouldn’t have listened to anything having to do with marriage in any other fashion. Now, don’t get me wrong… Brian still has an issue with marriage in general because of his parents so I don’t think he’s changing his thoughts here about himself… but he is changing his thoughts as to how it may be the right thing for Michael and Ben or others. But the main thing here is, and what Brian is supporting even though he doesn’t support marriage in general, that if that’s what Mikey wants then Mikey should have it. He would never stand in the way of someone living their life the way they want. So whether he agrees or not… he concedes.
B: Well you're a writer. Rewrite the story.
Rewrite the story? Okay, I will. Remember what Justin said in 406 while he and Brian were playing footsie at Babylon? His now famous want vs. need speech? Here it is just in case you forgot it…
“Is it that after awhile you start asking yourself, ‘Am I doing this because I want to do it or because I need to do it? And if I need to do it, is it to prove to myself that I’m still young and attractive? Or cause I think I’m unworthy of being loved?’
Let’s rewrite it, shall we?
“Is it that after awhile you start asking yourself, ‘Am I saying this because I want to say it or because I need to say it? And if I need to say it, is it to prove to myself that I’m still undefined and unconventional? Or cause I’m afraid to admit that I actually enjoy being in love, being in a relationship, and not being alone?’”
Okay, I’m just picking on Brian here but seriously, how much longer is he going to go around spouting his mantras… they are all bullshit and he’s finding that out one by one. He’s frantically trying to convince Michael about his views because he doesn’t want to be wrong and maybe just maybe there’s a sense of Michael moving on. I said back in 408 that it’s almost uncomfortable to watch them together nowadays because it’s always about acting like a kid, remembering the good ole days when they were young. If Mikey stops “listening” to Brian, then Brian will actually have to face growing up because the one last link to his youth will be gone. That’s part of the boys to men journey. Mikey stepping out of Brian’s shadow and living his own life, his own way with his own beliefs.
Michael goes to Ben, tells him I do and they get married the next day in Toronto where it’s accepted and legal. They exchange I do’s where Hunter stands up for Ben and eggs the “dude” on and Brian stands up for Michael. The minister says the “speak now” part and Brian leans forward with his mouth open. I actually laughed at Brian’s last ditch effort to give Mikey his “We’re queers… blah blah blah” speech only to be silenced very sternly by a knowing Debbie. She and everyone else there knows how he feels about the subject and I don’t blame her one bit for threatening him. But I do think that he was just kidding around. He was standing up for Michael for cryin’ out loud! That’s showing support right there. But other than that the ceremony was rather uneventful for me. Cute but not teary. I got more emotional about it after the ceremony when they were walking out in a barrage of confetti and “Fantastic Day” started playing. That’s when it hit me and I smiled. Michael and Ben looked so happy. But even then, it was kind of bittersweet for me. Just knowing that they had to leave our country to have something that really is just as much their right as it is mine… I don’t know, it was just bittersweet. That’s the only word that I can come up with to describe it.
Hollywood Studio
Back to Hollywood and we are in the big-wig’s office where Brett is trying his best to convince this guy to fork over the big bucks for his personal project. Justin is there sitting quietly… for now. And there’s two others there… they don’t ever speak so I’m assuming they are just the “yes” team.
Keller: I'm going to need stage seven for Rage's lair and the entire back lot to build Gayopolis.
Fenderman: There are a few other pictures we'd like to shoot here.
K: This is the only one that I'm directing.
F: Haha. Ya punk. You sound like I've already given you the green light.
K: So what's stopping you?
F: The price tag for starters. This little epic of yours is going to cost me a fucking fortune.
K: You can afford it. My last picture made you 250 million.
F: Hehe, yeah. This one’s different. A gay super hero?
K: The world’s ready for it.
F: Maybe your world but not Topeka.
K: If it's good, if it's got a big enough star, if you hype the shit out of it... they'll go. Right... guys?
The yes team doesn’t say yes. Brett is frustrated in overly dramatic fashion.
F: Looks pretty grim and depressing to me. Who wants to see a kid get his head bashed in? And what about all the sex? Blowjobs and butt-fucking on every page.
K: It's something the audience has never seen before.
F: And what makes you think they want to see it now? The concession stand is going to have a hell of a time selling Hershey bars. Look, you want to go with the gay thing? You’re gonna cut back on the ass business. And it's got to be... cheerier. And why does your hero have to be so fucking arrogant?
I can’t help but wonder how much of this scene is more autobiographical than it is fictional. Is this how the initial meeting went between Cow/Lip and the big studio heads? I can hear Ron and Dan saying that both their last series and their last cable movie won Emmys and telling the stiff-neck, Hershey bar joking, asshole with all the money that the world was ready for the Liberty Avenue gang. That the blowjobs and “ass business” would be something the audience had never seen before. And boy, weren’t they right about that? And I can hear said asshole telling them to cut back on the graphic sex, make it cheerier (or more like Gay as Blazes) and asking why did Brian, the show’s anti-hero, have to be so arrogant. I wish I knew if this is how it went because…
Justin: Excuse me, Mr. Fenderman. But our comic book was conceived that way for a reason. Because a lot of the shit gay people go through is grim. I ought to know. I'm a kid who got his head bashed in. As far as the ass business... getting your butt fucked is one of the great pleasures and privileges of being gay. If you haven't experienced it yourself, I recommend it. As far as Rage is concerned… just because he has no apologies for who he is and no regrets about his life, doesn’t make him arrogant. It makes him honest and brave. So despite your concerns, we prefer to be true to our original vision. Rage wouldn't expect anything less.
… if Justin’s words belong to someone like Ron or Dan, then I love them too! Go and play it back again or read the dialogue over but this time replace TV show for comic and Brian for Rage and WOW! Doesn’t it give you chills? Thinking of this scene in this context gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, Rage will get made to Justin and Michael’s original vision and it will be “a big, fat, fucking success”.
Okay, so maybe I’m wrong and this scene doesn’t have anything to do with the reality of getting Queer as Folk on the air… forget all that. I still absolutely love Justin! I was screaming at the television, “You tell ‘em, Sunshine!” I love his sincere honesty. Just like his “I like dick” speech and his “need vs. want” tricking speech.
Start Line, Toronto
It’s the big send off. The start of the Liberty Ride. Woo Hoo. Deb is wishing everyone well. Oooh, what I would have given to see Deb on a bike. Bwahahaha.
Deb: Alright, you boys stick together, alright? And look out for each other.
Michael: We will, Ma.
D: Shit. I just called you boys. You’re married men now. Go on before I start bawling.
Oh gee. Me too. And not over the married couple… she mentioned that damn “B” word. You know what that means.
Brian: Someone mention balling?
D: And you… I mean it. Alright? You take it easy. Don't act like some fucking super hero.
B: Yes, mother.
Major squee! He calls her mother again! I so love that. Oh gee. Let’s get this ride started before I start to bawl… And she soooo knows him. She knows he’s going to push himself harder than he should. He’s got something to prove and as Justin said, his perseverance is only surpassed by his narcissism. Cripes! Too late. Damn allergies.
D: Okay. I'm going to be on the food wagon keeping an eye out for all of you!
Okay Deb on the food wagon… that’s pretty funny.
Announcer: LIBERTY RIDE 2004 to Pittsburgh officially begins!
And they’re off. Smiles all around. A Pride Flag being waved in the middle of the sea of bikers as they cross the start line. “Fantastic Day” starts playing again and I actually get chills. Some have said, “eh, so what?” and I just don’t understand that line of thinking. There is so much going on with this bike ride… it means so much to so many people but first and foremost, it’s about gay pride and that’s why the flag is prominently shown waving high and proud. If you look for it, it’s all over the place. Even Ted has one on the back of his bike. That’s what it’s about… gays getting together as one united community to accomplish something for themselves. Remember what that dreaded director, Gene, said about the center? The funds had all but dried up because people, that’s you and me, don’t think that anyone dies of AIDS anymore. That with all the drugs, it’s no longer an issue. Well if Vic’s death taught us anything, it’s that the existence of drugs is not a cure and money is still needed. And since “people” aren’t giving then the community has to take it upon themselves to do something. Just like Emmett said in 401… “If we don’t take care of each other, who will?” That alone always gets me misty and as crazy as it seems to most when there’s a joining of the community and the Pride Flag’s waving, I feel just as proud to be a part of something, something that’s bigger than myself, as I do when the American Flag flies. I’m an emotional sap… so shoot me.
Okay so some don’t care about this stuff, that’s fine. That’s not why Brian is there either. But what about Brian and what this ride means to him? This doesn’t make your heart all aflutter? It sure does mine. This is a personal ride for him. A personal victory of sorts. If he can do this… then the cancer didn’t win. It didn’t take anything away from him except his ball. And if that’s all he’s lost then he knows he’s doing pretty good. I, for one, will be watching with bated breath and fingers crossed, perched on the edge of my seat, praying that he makes it. For him. Because he needs it. Just this once, it’s not about his narcissism, it’s about his whole being... to believe, himself, that he’s still Mr. Teflon, he’s still Rage, he’s still Brian Kinney. An older and wiser and more grown up Brian with a new plastic ball and a new attitude about death and perfection, but still Brian.
I can’t help it… this entire episode left a big, fat, fucking grin on my face. The tears? Eh, happy tears. After all, “It’s A Fantastic Day”. Okay, and so maybe a few of those are sad ones too… just one more episode to go after all. Bummer.
