So Brian & Justin are dancing, which is reminiscent of the "Forever Young" dance in 118. Slow motion like they are the only two people in the world. We see them staring into each other's eyes, kissing and touching, and Brian running his fingers through Justin's hair. And they touch their foreheads together. That's so personal, so special, and soooo only for Justin. It's Brian's stamp, I'm with you, you're with me. And again, they're smiling. They've missed being together, we've missed it too. Even on a crowded dance floor they're oblivious to anyone else around them. This is bliss in the Brian and Justin world, where only the two of them exist.
Zooooommmmm, to the gang. Ted, Emmett, Ben and Mikey all have their eyes on the beautiful couple on the dance floor. Do our eyes deceive us? No, it's Brian and Justin...together again.
Em: What happened to the fiddler?
M: He fell off the roof.
But what's wrong with Mikey? Anger? Jealousy? Concern? At least he still has his wits about him and delivers one of the best lines of the season.
Ok, I have to remember to put that one in with my other favorites lines from Queer as Folk, because this one will be a classic.
Back to Mikey - I think he's experiencing a little of all three emotions of anger, jealousy and concern. He's mad that Brian would take Justin back. In Mikey's eyes Justin made a fool of Brian when he left him standing alone at Babylon. He's mad that he didn't know first. He's his best friend, and thinks he should have told him. He's jealous that Brian would want to take Justin back. Justin has always been a sore spot for Mikey. Justin got to a place in Brian's life that Mikey was never able to penetrate. No matter his working relationship with Justin or his love for Ben, he will always feel left out when it comes to Brian sharing time with someone else. He's concerned that Brian has taken Justin back. He knows how much Brian was hurting after Justin left. He doesn't want to see that happen again and he's not as ready to forget and forgive as Brian has been. He knows that Brian is hard to take, and he isn't so willing to trust that Justin won't leave again when things get tough. So for all of these things, I see where Mikey is at. It really isn't about pouting. These are real and understandable emotions for a man's best friend to have. Luckily for Mikey, Ben understands too.
More signs of trouble in paradise for Ted and Emmett. This post isn't about them, but I just want to say "Poor Teddy".
As much as I want to say that I feel Brian and Justin are beyond the back room and it's no place for them to be now, I still didn't seem to mind it. They're newly unified and there's bound to be some impatience with them. Things were so intense on the dance floor that I simply saw this as a hunger, a desire, a need, that just couldn't wait. It had to be NOW! This also shows everyone at Babylon that Brian is back with Justin. Everyone knows Brian does'nt do repeats, so for Justin to be acknowledged in this manner by Brian, King Stud of Liberty Avenue, in public, in front of the entire court of his kingdom, well it's HUGE on the "you're special" meter. And we know that's what Justin needs, that's what he understands now. Words or no words, he's special to Brian.
Undercover cops everywhere? What's Stockwell trying to do? What is Brian helping him to do?
The Hot Tub
Listen and watch the new Stockwell commercial and you can see Brian's heart and hear Brian speaking. "If you say it, mean it." His honesty mantra. No bullshit. Watch Stockwell with the kids and you see what Brian wished he had with his father. Reminds me of the bowling episode that went terribly wrong. It started off like the commercial, but ended badly. Where is this commercial going to lead? We soon get our answer.
There's so much sexual inuendo played between Stockwell and Brian. I've never figured out why they wanted us to think things. Even the coming attractions lead us on. I chalk this up to cheap thrills by TPTB, but sorry, I didn't fall for it for a second. Lots of stuff going on in that hot tub, but it's not foreplay of the sexual kind. Stockwell's admission that he's scared brings this comment from Brian that we have never really heard him say before. He has doubts. This is just a peek inside those walls. Brian's "I don't give a shit" attitude is just that, an attitude. It's not real. This is the real Brian, naked, partially scared and full of doubts. What's he scared of? I think it's mostly that he's scared of Jack Kinney. Scared that he'll be just like him. Cold. Alone. Drunk. I think he's scared of Joan Kinney. Scared that he will feel just like her. Unloved. Alone. Drunk. And I think these fears surface everytime Justin gets close, and everytime he looks at Gus. What does he have doubts about? He's doubting if he can "always pull it off". I think he's starting to doubt himself and all of his beliefs. They've gotten him this far and yet they're starting to crumble. He's starting to doubt his self control. His feelings for Justin have gotten the better of him and Stockwell's attack on Liberty Avenue seems to be getting out of hand. Out of Brian's hands. And Stockwell - if he says it, he means it.
The Attacks
Woody's - Brian's being evil, no, I mean, sweet. But again, our boys are happy, they're laughing. You know what that means...troubles coming. Stockwell's attack is starting and it eyes Brian. And Brian looks familiar. This can not be good.
Diner - Debbie's attack is starting and it eyes Brian. Can the guy not catch a break? The attacks are coming from all sides now except two: Justin and...Mikey, well maybe Mikey.
New York and Memories
Talk of New York again and we get the full sense of what Brian is trying to accomplish with Stockwell. We've known it all along, Stockwell has known it all along, but Mikey and the gang didn't. This needed to come out. Now Mikey's scared and Brian has to reassure him. Mikey doesn't speak Brian's language so he has to spell it out and he makes it very clear. He will always love him "no matter where he goes or who he's with". Very clear. I'm leaving and I'm leaving with someone else. But Mikey is important and Mikey is special, but not romantically, that place is held for someone else. It's easy for Brian to acknowledge love for Mikey. He's a friend, so this is a fearless love, no risk, no possible broken heart, because friends never leave you. Families do and lover's can. Those loves can hurt and so those loves have walls. At least that's what Brian has known so far in his life. This is separate, a completely different compartment of the heart.
Different Teams
The firing and its reason: we don't bat for the same team. I know it's a phrase that's used a lot, but the word "bat" and Brian just don't mesh with me. Too many bad memories. Anyway, what shock. Not! Stockwell is a homophobe. It's about time he showed his true colors. Brian has been awakened. He's in shock and looks as if he'd been hit in the head with a bat. In a way, I guess he was.
Brian seems to recover and is able to push it aside and put his "it's just business" mask back on. He knows the score on Woody's and how things work. Maybe he knows Stockwell will want him back. I don't know. But what's up with Mikey? Your best friend just got fired for but being gay. He was discriminated against. This is a big deal. How can Mikey not understand how hurtful this is? Wasn't he scared to come out at the Big Q for fear of being fired? He's happy as a clam about this turn of events for Brian. I understand it gets Brian away from Stockwell, but still, the reason is awful, and Mikey is clueless. Again, I wonder, just how good are Brian's friends to him?
The return of Brian Kinney. I wish we could have heard the phone call that brought Brian back to Stockwell's office, a little grovelling would have been good to see here. But that's my evil side...back to the office. The only reason that I'm not pissed off about Brian not telling him where to stick it, is because we know why he was helping him. He was using him to get bigger and better clients and move to New York. So he has a dream. Stockwell now is upfront with Brian. You can use me, but I need to use you too. This is so wrong......Brian really frustrates me sometimes. This need to get out of Pittsburgh is really about running. Gee, Brian, the walls aren't around the Pitts, they're around you, and will go everywhere with you. But anyway, it appears that Brian has pulled it off, again.
Or maybe not. When Stockwell announces Brian as a close and personal advisor who happens to be gay, Brian looks ill. He looks beat up again, and he looks tired. I want to say he looks old, but Brian has been beat up enough for one episode, so I'm going to just keep my mouth shut on the old thing. I don't know which is worse for Brian, being shown on TV as the gay personal advisor for a homophobe, or the fact that now everyone knows that Brian Kinney can be used.
JT's Talent
We're back to looking at the comic book to tell us the story. What is the story here? There are 3 parts.
1) "There's a difference between being daring and sex for sex' sake." Well, touche` Cowlip. So now we know why the next sex scene is there and what it means.
2) Justin's admission to Mikey that he was right about Brian showing his love. So now Mikey understands that Justin understands.
3) It tells us there's an unspoken commitment between Brian and Justin. We didn't get to hear it, but now we know it's there.
Justin's talent
Now, what's important in this scene? Think back to all the blow jobs Brian has been getting lately. He's been showing signs that he's bored and uninterested. This display of his enjoyment here is to counteract all those others and show the act in contrast to those because this is with Justin. There's more to see in this scene other than the obvious "insert sex scene here". They mold well with one another and that's plain to see, but just to be sure that we see it, the camera angles and gliding show it that way. Brian's grabbing of Justin's hair strikes me as wanting to get closer, he doesn't want to loose contact, not even for a minute. When Justin looks up at Brian, they both see what he's done and what he's doing. Brian is enjoying sex again. Both of them look as though they've found peace and happiness, that they're back where they're suppose to be. With each other.
Here by my side, it's heaven. Indeed, it is.
And of course let's not forget how this was juxtaposed with the comic book. Because of the comic book, we don't have to figure out what this is all about, Justin has already told us. There's no doubt now as to what's going with these two. "It's about thawing out his cold heart. It's about bringing him back to life. It's about their love, their unspoken commitment." "Art imitating life?" Indeed, it is. But real life isn't a comic book, and Brian's frozen heart is going to have to be thawed under running water and that takes time.
"Let's just say..."
There's a lot being said between Brian and Justin during the conversation with this intruder. (And yes, I know he had an appointment, but he's still an intruder.) This was a moment for Justin to show his insecurities, and he didn't. He KNOWS now, and he's showing his confidence in Brian's feelings for him. This new Justin, this strong-willed older and wiser S1 Justin knows to stay under the radar with Brian and that is what he's doing here. Brian doesn't run Justin out, but he seems almost sorry that their time together is over.
These tricks are part of Brian's walls, and Justin knows it. They're part of the thawing process. They will not go away overnight. They're almost a habit like everything else in his life and habits are hard to break. Look how long it took Brian to break his habit of not letting anyone get too close. I do not believe in the slightest that Brian is excited about this trick. It almost appears to be an obligation that he HAS to complete. It's his safety net in this strange land of love and commitment and he's not quite ready to cross that tight rope without it. But as he feels more secure that Justin isn't leaving again, I strongly believe this will slow or even stop altogether. Justin will not demand that he stop, he has to do it on his own. This is part of the unspoken commitment. There's nothing being pulled over on Justin here, he knows it's part of the thawing process. He understands the process. He said so.
Brian's boyfriend explanation may seem odd, especially to the intruder, but it makes perfect sense. He has trouble with the words 'boyfriend' and 'relationship', but that's exactly what he has said here. He has a rule - no repeats. He breaks that rule for Justin. So to say that Justin is the "guy I fuck more than once," means he's special, and he's answering this question TO Justin, not the intruder. I'm in a relationship with him, he's my boyfriend, he's the one that I share with. Same thing, all in Kinney-speak. And Justin's smiling because he understands the language and he knows what Brian has said and what he's admitted. And Justin's answer, "unlike you", puts the intruder in his place, you mean nothing, you will never be where I am, for I am special.
Just like in 204, Justin has left Brian to his "wicked ways". Giving the choice to Brian, not taking the choice from him, and not forcing the choice to be made now. This is definately a more secure and confidant Justin. He sees Brian for the man that he is, the man on the outside as well as on the inside, and he is accepting of that man. This Justin is poised and ready to destruct the walls that Brian has built up around himself. And he's poised and ready to pick up the pieces when they do. This is a Brian learning how to be confident in this new world of love and starting to doubt his need for these pleasures, when they really aren't pleasurable at all. He's tasted something better now, and he really can't go back. This new Brian is standing there with the walls around him and they are starting to crumble.
Here by my side, you're destruction. Indeed, he is.
You're an angel. You're a devil. Indeed, he is.
Never turn your back on me. Indeed, he won't.
