U.S. Edition
Article ID: tv0125D
Fan Swapping:
Gay. Straight. Up Late.
By Sean M. Smith
Showtime’s ‘Queer as Folk’ has an estimated 50 percent female audience, most of whom, it’s assumed, are heterosexual
NEWSWEEK
June 23 issue - When the season finale of Showtime’s "Queer as Folk" airs on June 22, about half the folk tuning in won’t be queer.
THE SERIAL, FOCUSED on the lives (and sex lives) of gay men, has an estimated 50 percent female audience, most of whom, it’s assumed, are heterosexual.
Not an actual Newsweek Cover Page
But Showtime chairman and CEO Matthew Blank thinks they all should have seen it coming: "If there was a show about attractive gay women who happened to not have their clothes on occasionally, do you think some straight men might watch?"
Mindy Newby, 35, an insurance underwriter in Sacramento, Calif., says she was shocked at first to see guys have sex with guys. "And then it became incredibly sexy." She laughs. "Straight men should watch it." What about gay men? "I never watch it," says Kevin, a 31-year-old living in L.A. "I feel like I’m watching some sort of gay Disneyland. I can’t relate."
What Kevin relates to is "Sex and the City." The HBO hit, which premieres at the same time as "Queer’s" finale, centers on straight women. Guess what? About 40 percent of its audience in the 18-34 demographic is male. "‘It’s more my life," says RJ Millard, 29, who’s gay and lives in Manhattan. "It’s about friendship, relationships, the arts, fashion and food. Have a couple of the girls hook up with each other, and you’ve got a gay male relationship."
It may be that TV portrays the lives we aspire to, rather than the lives we lead. "Maybe we want to think of ourselves as being classy women who go out to the fancy restaurants and have men on the side," says Millard. Similarly, straight women seem to find "Queer’s" sexual freedom empowering. "Gay Pride is at the end of June in San Francisco, and I want to go!" says Newby. "I want to meet these people!"
-Sean M. Smith
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© 2003 Newsweek, Inc.
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First, the background of how this came about and what I was told in the beginning. A reporter from Newsweek wanted to interview me and some other straight women about why we like the show. So I had been emailing with him for two days. I really didn't want to talk to him over the phone because I wasn't sure if he was legitimate. He sent me all his credentials, and he really wanted to talk to me on the phone. So I called him and left a message on his machine and he called me back.
We talked for about an hour (I will go over the things we talked about in a minute). He also talked with a woman in Sacramento and a woman in LA, the two producers of the show, Ron and Dan, and two gay men about Sex and the City. He told me that he was a gay man living in West Hollywood, was a big fan of the show, and was intrigued by the number of straight women that watch the show and the number of gay men watching SATC. So his editor told him to do some research and write it up. The article was to be about the phenomenon of gay men watching Sex and the City and straight women watching QAF. From his questions, it seemed that he was trying to get the answer of "why". After reading his final article, I don't think he answered that question at all, and I am thoroughly disappointed in the final result.
He said the other two women spoke of the same stuff, but that the things I said were different than what they said. I didn't know if that is good or bad. Some of it was serious talk, but a few times we made each other laugh. He wanted my real name, but I felt uncomfortable about that so I asked him to just use Danny. I hoped that he didn't cut anything out because of that, but having my real name out there in print is kind of scary. He did tell me, with editing and whatnot, he couldn't promise that I would be in it because he didn't know how much space he would actually get or how long the finished article would be. Well, I wasn't in the article. I don't know if the missing name had anything to do with the final decision. But he only used one quote each from the others that he interviewed, so it wouldn't have been much anyway.
The story is not what I thought it was going to be at all. I don't even understand his point now. He makes it out like the show is not about gay life. To me, the article ended up making the show look bad and made Sex and the City look good. So, am I disappointed? Sure. But our conversation didn't have anything to do with what the story ended up being about so I guess that makes sense that he wouldn't use anything I said. Actually, I'm glad he didn't. In my opinion, the article doesn't paint QAF in a very positive light, and I wouldn't want to be a part of that in any way.
So here is what we talked about:
The first questions he asked were to get to know me (I had already sent him a few of my recaps in the preceding emails - so he knew my obsession. LOL), and then he went for the good stuff. So the first one was why I started watching the show. That's a whole long drawn out deal but he was surprised that I had actually set out to watch this show before it even aired. I have been involved in and with the gay life since I was old enough to understand what it was all about. First family members then friends...but it has always been a big part of my life. Good times...some wild and crazy and all out fun, others just normal more subdued times, like dinner and watching TV and talking...gee, that's a big one. Bad times...a bashing, AIDs deaths, drug addiction and a subsequent disappearance. I've witnessed discrimination, and I've witnessed hate. The naive side of me always believed it was because people didn't understand. There is a lot of hate stemmed from fear of the unknown. So when I read about an upcoming show that was to be written by gay people for gay people, my first response was ‘thank God’...and I vowed to watch it, to support it, to make sure it stayed on the air. I had no idea that I would actually fall in love with it and that it would be as good as I believe it is. So I didn't just stumble across this show; I made a conscious decision to watch it before it even aired. He said he didn't know if he could use that because that surprised him. After reading his article, I now know why he was surprised. His take is that heterosexual women watch for the titillating factor, and while I get that as well as an added bonus, it's not why I started watching, and it's not why I continue to watch. I didn't give the answer to the "why" question that he wanted.
Then he asked if I could be one of the cast for one day, whom would I choose? I picked Justin. He asked why and, of course, I said because he gets to "be with" Brian. He was cracking up. He said everyone else, including himself, always chooses Brian because he is their favorite. He is my favorite as well, but wouldn't it be better to be his boyfriend, than him, if you like him?? At least that is what I think. He said after hearing my answer, he was going to change his to Justin, too.
He asked whom on the show did I relate to most? That was a hard one. I told him that as far as my views of the world and the way that I feel about relationships and such went, that I related to Brian the most. I didn't have a terrible upbringing like Brian, mine was pretty happy-go-lucky, but my negative and wild views on love, sex, and relationships still seeped into my life somehow. I did get over it, but it was a long time coming. But even though I can relate to Brian more, I also told him that I feel a closer connection to Justin. He asked why. I told him because I completely understood Justin's infatuation with Brian. That I fell in love with Brian that first night in 101, just like Justin did, so I completely understood his chase of the man. And to some extent, I admire the way Justin is. He’s so strong and full of life, but yet he is sensitive to issues of the heart. Don’t we all wish we had his gumption and his tenacity?
We talked about the sexual turn on for a few minutes, and he said, "Well, straight men like to watch two women get it on, so it is completely understandable". Of course. He asked what I thought during the first episode. I told him, "Well, HOT, of course." He laughed. We moved on, but the more I thought about that answer, the more it bugged me. I didn't want him to think that is all that I think about it now. My feelings have changed so much since that first episode. Can you see him quoting me on the word HOT?? I would have just died. So I called him back, and I told him that now, watching B/M and B/J or T/E is like watching something private, and it pulls on the heartstrings and makes me go ahhhhh. But the Brian shit is still hot, like with the elevator man. I used 311 as the example. The B/J sex in the first scene in the loft after the truck stop adventure was HOT, animalistic; they just needed to get off. And that is how I felt watching it. I'm totally blowing off the reason for them showing that wild sex scene because that's not important right now. But the scene later in the loft that was shown in conjunction with Stockwell/Vance wasn’t about the hotness factor. It was a more private interlude, more loving, a show of commitment and togetherness. And while it made me feel cozy warm to witness such a love on screen, I almost felt like a voyeur partaking in the sweetness of their private moment. That may not be true for everyone else, but that is how I feel. So do the wild sex scenes turn me on? Yes, they're hot. Do the softer, more passionate scenes get me emotional? Yes. But that doesn't mean that I don't understand what each scene is trying to show me. You'd have to really not be paying attention to not have understood what the blow job at the end of 309 was showing us, and it wasn't just to show that Justin knows how or that he's damn good at it.
He told me when he first saw 101 that he was concerned about how "real" it depicted gay life. He told me that he thought the show was dead-on right in its depiction of the young gay life. It made him angry, and he thought that it might turn straights off even more and set the gay movement back. I told him that I had "met" all kinds on the boards and in the yahoo groups, and it seemed to be a varying opinion to me. Some believed it be a real look, and others did not and thought it to be a joke. He said he had changed his opinion about setting the gay movement back now, and he thought the show had done wonders for making a connection between straight and gay people. A bringing together, if you will. I completely agree and think it is amazing. I mentioned that there were some lesbians on the boards that thought the show to be a complete joke and so far from the truth of real that it is laughable. Not all, mind you. Just some. His response was...that's lesbians, what do they know about being a gay man anyway? Very funny. But whatever, you know?
So because we talked, at great lengths about this aspect and how real the show depicts the gay life, I was very surprised to see him include the quote by Kevin where it states as a gay man, he doesn't relate to the show and more closely relates to the four women on Sex on the City. I am more than upset by this. Doesn't this statement set the gay movement back? He was telling the world that gay men can't relate to a group of gay men but can relate to a group of straight women? (Who, in my opinion, only shop and buy shoes. I mean, sure the girls of SATC think about dick a lot, but hell, so do the men on QAF) Where is the connection? I'm not gay, but I know an Emmett, I know a Ted, I'm related to a Justin, I've lost a Ben, I’ve had a friend end up a dumpster boy and oddly enough...my least favorite character, Michael...well, all my current gay friends are just like him. They are into amusement parks rather than comic books, but just like Michael, could tell you who killed who and how in issue 14 of Superman. My friends can tell you the highest roller coaster, what park, when it was built, and what its G-Force is. When I watch and Michael whines or complains.... I have to point to my friend Jeff and laugh. So how does anyone say it's not real? I can't figure it out, because it's very real to me.
We talked about so much.... how it related to my real life and about how it has almost become obsessive for some women. And yes, I mentioned the hours that I spend writing the recaps. We talked about the boards and groups, too, and how it felt like a community. I've met so many wonderful people through this common thread that we all share. We talked about Brian and his family issues and how I didn't know that this happened to so many until I joined the boards. Oddly enough, none of my family members or my friends throughout my whole life have had family issues with them being gay. I had no idea that people were disowned by people like Justin’s dad, or were condemned to hell by people like Brian's mom. I thought that was show drama, but the people on the boards told me different. And if that's true... it’s not real???
I am also torn about the last quote by that woman...How degrading is that? "These" people? How awful. Is she supposed to represent the straight women who watch the show? My goodness. "These people" is as offensive and saying "you people". And the other thing... maybe she didn't mean anything by that phrase, but what does she think "these people" are? What is she hoping to find? Does she think that everyone at the pride parade is going to look like Brian and Justin? If that is her motivation for going, then she should stay at home.
The article is a major disappointment. It could have said so much more. And now it is in print in a mainstream nationwide magazine that QAF is show about gay people that gays won't watch and the women only watch because of the eye-candy. I’ve been wanting exposure of this magnitude for this show for some time, and this is what a gay reporter (who loves the show) gives us? Geesh!!!
There was an article written by another gay man that I’ve gotten to know, and I think it more reflects the appeal of the show and how us fans feel, so I’ve included it here as well. Hopefully now with the tides changing on mainstream television, more positive articles like this one will hit the mainstream magazines because I’m still pondering that question of “why” and would love to see it explored one day.
by Andy Powell
The show has received a measure of criticism from certain gay columnists (including TV GUIDE's resident bitch, Matt Roush) calling it "increasingly crude and self-righteous" and making references to "an ever-increasing nudity quotient." This type of criticism most likely comes from people who saw the first few episodes of Season 1 and haven't watched since. Regular QAF viewers know full well that there was far less sex depicted in the show’s second season. This could be because viewers have become acclimated to the sex, and the show's creators no longer feel the need to push the envelope. In any case, QUEER AS FOLK has never been all about the sex. It's a character-driven, relationship-oriented series, and the sex is depicted not gratuitously or for shock value, but as a natural part of the lives of its characters.
For me, one of the most impressive aspects of the show (and one which most critics seem to have missed) is its attention to detail. For instance, how many critics (or even Qaffies) have noticed that every episode has its own theme? Some are more obvious than others, but each episode has some underlying thread that connects all of the storylines. Season 1 had themes such as mothers and sons, fathers and sons, dangerous liaisons, fighting your nature. Season 2 included themes such as fallen heroes, following your dream, parent-child conflict, and gay pride. This is certainly not a necessity to the show, but for those of us who notice, the details augment our enjoyment. I also love the subtle jokes the writers insert from time to time. For example, during Season 1, Episode 10 (yes, it's true—I actually know the episodes by number!) Dr. Dave has asked Michael to move in with him. Michael: "It's a big step." David: "Watch out for the dog poop." Season 1, Episode 13: Emmett tries to go straight by joining “See the Light" and his recruiter, Matt is giving him a pep talk. Emmett: Thank you, Matt, for your support." Matt: “That’s why I’m here—to make sure you don't slip.” Season 2, Episode 8: Michael has just had sex with a "perfect" blind date. Mr. Perfect: "You might want to consider a penile extension." Mike: "Thanks for the tip." Season 2, Episode 15: Michael and Justin are collaborating on a comic book, and Michael phones Justin at 4 a.m. Michael: "I just had a brilliant idea. Maybe we could have a chiropractor as the villain!" Could I be the only one who notices stuff like this?
QUEER AS FOLK has also benefitted me on a personal level: it's gotten me out of the house. Whenever any QAF cast members make an in-person appearance, I'm there! I've also become a semi-regular at The Revolver in West Hollywood, which in itself is something of a miracle since I've never been a clubber or a socialite in any shape or form. But going to The Revolver to see QUEER AS FOLK is quite a different experience from watching it in the privacy of one's own home, I've discovered. Every Sunday night, a large yet amazingly well-behaved crowd of Qaffies shows up to watch QAF, and the feeling of camaraderie inherent to this is something I don't experience very often. Now I haven't made any new friends or gotten laid, but at least I've become a little less of a hermit, which is definitely a step in the right direction! So in this respect QUEER AS FOLK has changed my life for the better.
I'm amazed at the shallow, superficial, short-sighted nature of some of the criticism leveled at the show, particularly at its lead character, the enigmatic Brian Kinney. I've heard Brian referred to as a sex addict, empty, shallow, and "just a walking dick." I know I'll be scoffed at for saying this, but Brian is not a sex addict! Brian is a very wounded guy who has always viewed falling in love as a giving-up of control. He would feel threatened by the notion of relinquishing control of his life or his body (which is partly why he's a total top) and uses sex as a way of maintaining that control. But far from being shallow, Brian is deeply human, and does care a great deal about his friends. Not only is Brian Kinney one of the most complex, multi-layered characters ever created for television, but QAF creators Ron Cowen and Dan Lipman were exceedingly lucky to find Gale Harold to play him. Capable of conveying enormous emotion with the most subtle of gestures—a blink of his eyes, a turn of his head—Harold at times recalls the finest work of Olivier and Garbo. He's an actor of remarkable intelligence and depth.
We are also very fortunate to have Randy Harrison and Peter Paige playing, respectively, Justin Taylor and Emmett Honeycutt. As openly gay actors, they connect with us Qaffies in a way the other actors sometimes don't. Since we know they're gay in real life, the characters they play tend to take on an added emotional reality for us, even if it's only in our minds. If Brian is the centerpiece of QUEER AS FOLK, Justin is its most important, influential character. From the very beginning Justin has affected and changed the lives of the other characters. It was Justin who named Brian and Lindsay's baby "Gus," Justin who got Brian and Michael to reconcile after the birthday party fiasco, Justin who blackmailed Kip into dropping his sexual-harassment lawsuit against Brian, Justin who helped Brian get Lindsay and Melanie (the enchanting Thea Gill and Michelle Clunie) back together. Justin also encouraged Debbie to investigate the background of the murdered kid she found in the dumpster, which led to Detective Horvath asking her on date, her first in ten years! Most importantly though, Justin has affected enormous changes in Brian. He is clearly very much in love with Justin, to the point of agreeing to his first committed live-in relationship (in his fashion) and displaying far more vulnerability than ever before. And if Harrison and Harold both do great work on their own, their scenes together are positively electric! These two guys have a chemistry with each other that is palpable. Each brings out the best in the other: they're a great screen couple—a gay Bogie and Bacall!
My father never really came to terms with my sexual orientation—or with my own acceptance of it. He preferred to tell himself that I was "confused," "searching," etc. Shortly before he died, he told me he still didn't think I knew what-the-hell I was. I wish I could tell my dad now that watching Brian and Justin together (in or out of bed), I am very aware, and very proud, that I am in fact gay.
The contributions made by Peter Paige (and Emmett) to QAF can’t be taken for granted, either. That the show’s most flamboyantly gay character is played by a gay man is significant in that it thrusts Paige into a political spotlight he might not be in were he playing, say, Ted. Paige has admitted that playing Emmett has forced him to confront his own issues of internalized homophobia. Ours, as well. Emmett's effeminate mannerisms are those most associated with gays by homophobic straights. And since over half of the QAF audience is straight, they too must be confronted by this effeminate man who is also multi-dimensional, humane, relentlessly honest and immensely lovable. This helps straights—and gays—to see Emmett not as a caricature or a stereotype but as a living, breathing gay man with whom they can identify. This is especially beneficial for straight people with relatives or co-workers who behave as Emmett does, and for those of us with unresolved issues regarding our own behavior.
The show's other strongest asset is Debbie Novotny (the sublime Sharon Gless). The kind of gay-supportive mom most of us can only wish for, QAF's den mother and everyone's favorite fag hag (besides Liza) has had much more of an impact than she would probably guess. Membership in PFLAG chapters across America has grown substantially since the show debuted in December of 2000. And thanks to Debbie—and QAF—my relationship with my mother has greatly improved. At my request, my mom started watching my tapes of the show with me. It was important to me that she see QUEER AS FOLK because I felt it would be a window for her into who I am as a gay man. Reluctantly at first, she started watching with me. It took a few episodes, as I knew it would, for her to become accustomed to the tone of the show. Her initial discomfort had mostly to do with the sex scenes, which she still looks away from. But she has grown to love the characters (interestingly, Emmett is one of her favorites) and she gets just as involved with the storylines as any other Qaffie. And seeing such a loving and accepting mother as Debbie week after week has raised her own tolerance level more than I'd thought possible.
Sometimes we underestimate the importance of each of our voices in creating positive change in the world. At the time QAF debuted, Showtime ran a short titled "Is America Ready For QUEER AS FOLK?" Judging by the show's tremendous success, the answer is a resounding YES! The voice of QUEER AS FOLK is being heard loud and clear by Qaffies of all genders and persuasions. And since Showtime has renewed the show for two more years, this voice will not be stilled anytime soon. How fabulously fortunate we are to have it!